Rock The World
by DW-881
Summary: Christmas special of RTW! And after Christmas! Things could only end up one way. Insane. As usual. Read and review!
1. Meet The Band

**-Rock The World-**

Well, this is my new fanfic, hope you all will like it. First chapter doesn't say that much really, but this fanfic will feature original songs written by me (don't run!) and some pairings... Won't tell you which, though.

Anyway, for the first eight chapters, there will be a profile sort of for each character, giving you a bit more info about them.

First out is Raine, the bands manager. Anyway, enjoy and don't forget to review.

**_Celebrity Insanity- Issue 104-_**

**_Name: Raine Sage_**

**_Age: 20+_**

**_Weight: Don't you dare write it!_**

**_Occupation: Manager, producer and song-writer for the so far nameless band._**

**_Instrument of choice: None._**

**_Pets: None._**

**_Favourite possession: All my books. My eyes just glow when I think... this was cut down to fit in_**

**_Last thing you bought: A book. It was a book called...bla bla bla bla four minute ramble_**

**_Favourite band member: It most certainly isn't Lloyd, that malignant mischief maker, and Zelos is as annoying as it gets. But I like the rest of them, sort of._**

**_Favourite movie: The Ancient History Of Books- Reloaded. I loved it, it contained so much... interviewer dozed off somewhere around here_**

**_Favourite book: I love all my books, but a few more than others. For example... censored_**

**_What I do in 10 years: Then I have an own library full of every book in the world! Can you imagine the shelves, the polished wood... interview had to be interrupted due to nightfall_**

**_Motto: Read a book, and earn knowledge for life! There's nothing like... yawn_**

**_Well, thanks alot, Raine Sage. Good luck with managing the band, and the library thing. Now, let's get the hell out of here._**

**_----_**

**-Meet The Band-**

"Okay... How about: La Bamba Rock And Roll!" Lloyd Irving exclaimed, but recieved nothing but sceptical looks from the others.

"We need something better" Sheena Fuyibayashi said, as she was making a card spin around in mid air. "Something catchy..."

"What about Pink Lloyd!" Lloyd yelled. "That's a great name! But I'm not pink.."

"Nah" Zelos Wilder said, gently combing his long red hair with his hand. "I'd say we need something that get the ladies to come see us... Maybe Zelos The Boss?"

Sheena intentionally coughed and glared at him.

"Eh, sorry my lovely Sheena.. Let's make it Zelos The Boss And The Band!"

She kept staring at him.

"Or maybe Zelos The Boss And The Band and Sheena?"

"No" Genis said. "I think our name should be Students Of Glory!"

"Genis, that sounds so cheezy" Lloyd muttered. "Let's make it School Of Fool!"

"Too bad you're the only one qualifying for that" Zelos said and laughed. "No, I think we should call ourselves Van Zelos, or maybe..The Strolling Bones! Haha!"

"Well...What do you think, Regal?" Genis asked.

"Or even better: The Symphonic Demonic Orchestra!" Zelos said, smiling. "Wow, that sounds so tough, the chicks' are going to love it... Yeah!"

Regal himself didn't answer, he was sleeping, snoring loudly.

"Uh...I think..." Presea started, looking for the right words. "What about The Chosen?"

"Well, I..." Colette started, but Presea shook her head.

"I mean, the name The Chosen would sound good, I think..."

"Yeah, good job, Presea." Genis said, obviously blushing a bit when he looked at her.

"The Chosen?" Lloyd exclaimed. "We're not just a one man band!"

"Chosen, Lloyd Irving. It's pluralis." Raine said, waving a finger in front of his eyes. "You and I are going to have some private lessons, boy..."

To his defense, it can be admitted that he _tried _to escape. Raine whacked his head with her staff before he even reached the door.

No harm done, though.

* * *

****

Well, read and review. Don't forget english is not my native tongue, so don't pay to much attention for the spelling errors, or the grammatical ones.

Take care, and stay tuned for next chapter where:

The band gets their first gig, but it doesn't go as planned. Interview with Lloyd Irving and find out why

Regal suddenly can't play the keyboard anymore.

Don't miss it!


	2. The first song, by Lloyd?

Thanks for the two reviews, this chapter is longer as requested... Enjoy!

**-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 105-**

**Name: Lloyd Irving**

**Age: I have no idea**

**Weight: What's that, anyway?**

**Occupation: Guitarist and annoying person of the band The Chosen.**

**Instrument of choice: An electric guitar**

**Pets: No...ishe**

**Favourite possession: That'll be my red suit. Ain't going nowhere without it,**

**Last thing you bought: Hmm... Earplugs for the whole band. **

**Favourite band member: It isn't Raine, mark my words. One false step and she'll eat you alive. She usually beats you up really bad, and then heal you afterwards. Ouch.**

**Favourite movie: Sword Dancer 3. Yeah, that movie contained some smashing action scenes!**

**Favourite book: Eh, book:runs:**

**What do I do in 10 years: Maybe I'll consider getting a haircut. My hair's probably pretty long then, so...**

**Motto: Dvarwen Vow 24: Let's all work together for a world without school and books!**

**-Okay, thanks alot Lloyd Irving, good luck with the hair-cut and all.-**

* * *

Zelos Wilder slowly woke up. He looked around. 

Genis sat bent over a huge book, his eyes moving quickly over the pages.

"Good morning, Zelos" Genis said, without looking at him.

Zelos decided get up and have some breakfast, but there was a problem.

He couldn't get up. He was tied to the couch, four thick belts were strapped around his body.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" He yelled to Genis, as he shook the whole couch in anger to get free.

"Sheena got angry yesterday" Genis calmly said, not letting his eyes off the book.

"You were saying some nasty things about her in your sleep, so she decided to tie you down on the couch as a punishment."

"But seriously, mr Half-elf-study-alot, I must have said good things."

"As a matter of fact you did. But did she care? No."

"Untie me, Genis." Zelos said, panically. "I'm getting ugly bruises on my arms."

"Poor you, but you'll just have to wait until I'm finished reading."

"And when is that?"

"Probably in a few hours or so. Just hang in there."

Zelos looked around. No one else was in the room, except for Regal, who was sleeping as usual.

"REGAL!" Zelos yelled. "HELP ME!"

Regal didn't react at all. He was sleeping as deep as ever.

"REGAL, A MONSTER! IT'S HUGE!" Zelos continued, but the blue-haired muscular man in the other couch kept snoring. "AH, IT'S LICKING MY LEG! CREATURE OF EVIL, BEGONE!

Genis sighed. The earplugs Lloyd had bought him did come in handy after all.

* * *

"Allright everyone" Raine said, and the people on the stage turned their eyes against her. "I've booked our first gig, and it's a big one." 

"Big gig, that sort of rhymes" Lloyd replied, while he was tuning his electric guitar. "Cool."

"Where is it?"

Zelos was sitting on the edge of the stage, examining his bruises. Presea had cut him loose from the couch, which was now in a sorry, torn state.

"It's in Meltokio, outside the Royal Castle" Raine said. "It's the celebration of the king's birthday, several bands are invited to play."

"That's great and all" Sheena said put away her bass. "But we haven't rehearsed any songs at all. Have you even written any, Raine?"

"Of course I have. Here. The concert is in four days."

Raine jumped up on the stage, and handed out papers to everyone.

Genis frowned his forehead.

"The Magic of Books?"

"Who Took My Book?" Zelos muttered. "Wow, that's so original, and yet not."

"Library Of Sybak" Lloyd said. "Uh huh."

"No offense, Raine, but I don't think we'll rock Meltokio with three songs about books." Zelos said and put away his papers. "I won't sing a song about a book, that's so uncool. My image would be ruined"

"Don't worry" Lloyd said in thriump, as Raine clenched her fists and muttered something unhearable. "I've written a song."

"Haha, you!" Zelos exclaimed. "You can't even spell your own name!"

"Yes, I can. It's L-l-o...Eh, L-o-y-l... Argh, don't make me!" Lloyd grabbed his electric guitar. "Presea, the drums please."

"Of course" Presea answered shortly, and placed herself behind the drums. "What should I play?"

"Just play it fast, allright" Lloyd said with a big smile on his face. "This song is called _Falling In Love_, listen carefully Zelos cause you're going to sing it later, allright?"

Everyone sceptically looked at the red-dressed Lloyd, as if they expected to wake up any minute. Except for Regal, who had fallen asleep behind his keyboard.

No big surprise there.

"Allright, Presea, let's rock" Lloyd said and struck a D on his guitar.

* * *

**Falling In Love** written by Lloyd Irving

**1..2.. 1.2.3.4**

**I used to love another one**

**But after a trip to Hakonesia**

**I got struck by severe amnesia**

**So, I fell in love with you**

**Chosen One**

* * *

**I'm falling in love**

**With those big, bright eyes**

**I'm falling in love**

**Oh, those angel wings**

**Those lovely things**

**Could take me to the skies**

**Yeah!**

**I'm falling in love with you, yeah**

* * *

**School was always a pain**

**Just as our teacher, miss Raine**

**But I managed to remain**

**Somewhat sane**

* * *

**But now I'm falling ****in love**

**With those big, bright eyes**

**I'm falling in love**

**Oh, those angel wings**

**Those lovely things**

**Could take me to the skies**

**Yeah!**

**I'm falling in love with you, yeah**

* * *

**Ican't stop the way I feel**

**I know that it's for real**

**Every time we touch, we break a seal**

**My love for you, could break through steel**

**YEAH!**

* * *

**Now I'm falling in love**

**With those big, bright eyes**

**I'm falling for the girl I'm dreaming of**

**I just hope you can answer my love**

**Oh, those angel wings**

**Make every bell ring**

**I'm falling in love with you, yeah**

* * *

"Wow..." Zelos said. "Allright, Lloyd, who wrote it for you? Who did you threat? You didn't kill anyone for it, did you?"

"N-No, I wrote it myself" Lloyd said, blushing as he looked at Colette. She knew.

"Yeah, right" Zelos laughed and got on his feet. "And I built the Grand Tethe'Alla Bridge with my left hand."

"For some reason, I believe him" Genis said. "Great song, Lloyd. It rocked."

Raine had a murderous look in her eyes, but didn't say anything. Her face looked like it could explode any second, and small puffs of smoke came out through her ears.

"You still need to write two more" Presea said. "You only have two days. It's quite along wayfrom Altamira to Meltokio"

"Uh, no problem." Lloyd said. "Really."

"See?" Zelos said. "He has already killed that guy, he can't get any more songs out of him."

"Quiet" Genis said. "Or I'll set your red hair on fire... Wait, it already is on fire... Or even better, have Sheena chain you to the couch again, that was funny."

Sheena didn't say anything. She clenched her fists and glared at Colette, who was smiling towards Lloyd.

She would make sure that Colette never got her hands on Lloyd. The fight had begun.

And she was going to win, no matter the cost.

* * *

Instruments: 

Lloyd: Electric guitar, backing vocals

Zelos: Lead singer, front figure of the band (at least HE thinks so)

Sheena: Bass, backing vocals

Genis: Saxophone

Colette: Electric guitar, backing vocals

Presea: Drums

Raine: Nothing, she's manager

Regal: Keyboard (when he's a awake, that is)

Allright, that was chapter 2, slightly longer. Hope you liked it, stay tuned for chapter 3...

Sheena and Colette's fight for Lloyd's love starts, Regal finally utters his first words in this fanfic, and Raine decides to sneak on Lloyd, to see what the secret behind his song-writing is...

Don't miss it!


	3. Seagull Mania And Amnesia

Wow, thanks a bunch for all the reviews. Let's do some reviewers response of everyone who reviewed so far...

MoonCannon: I'm trying my best to make them as long as possible, and keep an eye out for Zelos beating...Hehe.

Zelda's Fox 38: Well, what instruments everyone played was included in chapter 2. And Pink Lloyd would just have crushed Zelos heart, so they couldn't go with that...

Manu: Merci, hope you'll keep reading.

dragoonknight1: Hold on to that tickets, cause someday that thought will be reality... Don't tell anyone, though.

LJ3: Well, when you think about it, keyboard is practically the only instrument Regal can play. He would have a hard time taking chords on a guitar, and drums are out of the questions. And since Zelos is the singer, mr I-Sleep-A-Lot got to play the keyboard.

SiLeNtPzYcHo: He do sleep alot, but his role in this story is very important. Dun worry, he'll go see a...somewhat special doctor, but that comes in future chapters. But behold, he utters his first words in this chapter. Amazing, huh?

Teddy-the-Bear: I try to update as soon as I can, and hopefully I can add a song to as many chapters I can too.

KratosFan: Don't you worry, Kratos will show up in this story, sooner or later...

Okay, thanks for reading everyone, keep reviewing or I'll...uh, never mind.

DISCLAIMER- Namco owns this game and... Wait, I own this game too. Hmm, I'd have to go see a lawyer about this one.

**-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 106-**

**Name: Regal Bryant**

**Age: 33**

**Weight: 187 Ibs**

**Occupation: Keyboardist and sleepwalker of The Chosen.**

**Instrument Of Choice: A pillow...Uh, a keyboard.**

**Pets: Nooooooooo...**

**Favourite possession: Ah, that would be my red pillow... Can't go anywhere without it...**

**Last thing you bought: Uh, I'm afraid there's not a store in the world who lets a man with handcuffs in...sniff**

**Favourite band member: That's gotta be Presea. She don't talk very much, makes it much easier to go to sleep.. Love ya, Presea.**

**Favourite movie: Uh... I dooon't know...**

**Favourite book: Ten Ways For Easy Sleep.**

**What do I do in 10 years: Then I've... :falls to sleep**

**HALLO, MR REGAL:pokes Regal:**

**Uh, well, thanks Regal.. And goodnight.**

* * *

Regal carefully opened one of his eyes. He peeked around. The hotelroom that functioned as the bands gathering-place was empty. The windows were wide open, a gentle breeze blew through.

He sat up, and took out a notebook from under the couch. He removed his handcuffs with a single push on a small button at the side, and started to write in the notebook.

He smiled to himself, and let out a sinister laugh.

"My plan is vorking" He said with a worthless german accent. "Ze people do nut understand. Zelos strapped to the couch, hmm, hmm, Lloyd vriting a zuper zong without anivan believing him... This vill make a grate book!"

He wrote fast, and laughed heartily. Mwahaha hahahahaha ha ha ha cough mwahahahahaha... AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

He flew up on the couch, like a rocket shot out from its place. A seagull! A seagull had entered the room through a window.

After a traumatic incident in his childhood, he couldn't stand seagulls. He preferred a snake pit before a single seagull.

"HELP!" He yelled in panic. The seagull curiously looked at the muscular, blue-haired man who was currently having a breakdown. "Don't come any closer!"

The seagull, who had landed on the table, took a few steps forward, swiftly turning its head from side to side.

"I have one of Raine's books" Regal said, holding a gigantic book over his head. "It will hurt you alot, if you don't fly away. It weighs four tonnes, at the least"

The seagull cautiously moved forward. Regal clenched his teeth and threw the book towards the bird with his full power.

"DIE, YOU MALIGNANT BEING!" He yelled in triumph and did a victory dance on the couch.

The book missed it target with ten meters.

It flew out through the open window, and obviously hit someone far below the Altamira hotel, because a high-pitched scream could be heard.

"It's raining books! Dear lord, why have thou done this to us! Quick, get Raine inside before she gets an attack!"

Regal quickly looked for another weapon, and smiled yet another time in thriumph when he saw one of Sheenas magical cards on the table. He grabbed it quickly, and the seagull showed no sign of fear.

"This is going to hurt you alot" Regal said, nodding his head. "Swiiiiish, and you're dead, Polly!"

Regal raised his hand and threw the razor-sharp card towards the white bird that sat on the bed, then he closed his eyes and prayed.

"Oh please, dear god/godess/being, make the bird die violently!"

He opened one of his eyes. The bird was gone, and so was the card.

"I'VE SUCCEEDED!" He shouted and did a moonwalk in the couch. But then he felt something on his shoulder. He turned his head.

Two big, blue bird-eyes stared innocently at him. Of course he went crazy.

He screamed and started to run around in the room, waving his hands like a madman.

"Regal, me and my hunnies are back" A familiar voice outside the door said. It was Zelos.

Oh thank god, finally someone who could save him.

"ZELOS, HELP ME!" Regal screamed. "I HAVE A SEAG...TEN FOOT MONSTER AFTER ME!"

But then it struck him. He had removed his handcuffs. His cover was going to blow if he not took them on. He took his only chance.

He flung forward, slided a few meters on the floor all the way to his handcuffs, which he quickly put on (he was screaming during the whole sequence)

Zelos came in through the door, accompanied by Raine, Sheena, Genis and Presea. They all had their weapons readied, and Zelos did a lightning quick search of the room.

"Allright, where's the monster!" He said. "Me wants blood!"

"Stop it, Zelos" Raine said. "Hmm, there's no sign of a ten foot monster."

"H-He flew out through the window" Regal said, and tried to get up on his feet.

But he couldn't. While putting the handcuffs on, he had accidently put one around the leg of the couch. And the couch was nailed to the floor.

"How can a ten foot monster fly out through a five foot window?" Raine said, and frowned her forehead. "There's no sign of marks, or battle in the room... Hmm..."

Regal anxiously looked at Raine while she slowly searched the room for clues.

"Aha!" She said, and waved her finger so that everyone could see it. "It was a dwarf! Disguised in a ten foot suit!"

Regal sighed of relief. Thank god for stupid healers.

"Regal, what are you doing on the floor?" Genis asked.

Regal did the only thing he could do. He faked that he was asleep.

"There he goes again" Zelos said and sighed. "And I was really looking to some monster whacking..."

_That vas cloze_ Regal thought. _They almozt found out aboot my plan._

_My plan, it'z vorth a million gald. All I need to doo, is give inzide nevs about the groop. Tazty scandalz and ztuff like zath. _

_Vov, I really need to practize my german acczent. It doesn't even vork vhen I'm thinking._

* * *

Colette gently pushed the door aside, and looked around. It was empty.

Strange, Lloyd said he was going to be there writing a new song.

"WATCH OUT!" Someone screamed, and Colette quickly pulled her head in. Lloyd ran past her with a guitar in his arms, frenetically playing it.

"What are you doing, Lloyd?" Colette asked, and stepped in carefully.

"I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH A NEW SONG" Lloyd yelled from the other side of the room. He kept running in circles, playing random chords as he ran.

Colette didn't answer. Her eyes were fixed on a rather strange looking plant, that seemed to follow Lloyd around.

"Oh, hi professor Raine!" Colette said, and the plant instantly stop moving. "What are you doing?"

Raine crawled out from behind the plant. She brushed dust off her clothes and cleared her throat.

"Ahem.. I was just studying this fine example of the plant...eh Longus Moradus.. Um, yeah"

"That plant is made out of plastic, professor" Colette carefully pointed out. Was everyone in this fanfic going insane?

"Ahem, yes, I know. That was the reason for my curiosity. I'm studying plastic plants so that I can write a book about it... Later.."

"Uh huh"

"Eh, I must get going" Raine left the room in a hurry, but Colette could hear her cursing herself down the corridor.

"AAAAAAAAA" Lloyd sang, still running. "DDDDDDDDDD...EEEEEEEE"

"Um, Lloyd... Why won't you sit down with me for a while? And just talk?"

Lloyd stopped, his mouth hanging open.

"Maybe you'll come up with a melody for it if you take a break" Colette carefully implied.

_Just put away that freaking guitar and sit down with me._

"I guess a break can't hurt" Lloyd put away his guitar and sat down beside Colette on the green couch. "I've written the text, but I can't come up with a melody."

"Lloyd..." Colette whispered and looked into his brown eyes. "The song you played yesterday..."

Sounds could be heard from the ceiling, like it was about to fall down.

"Must've been those creepy guys above us" Lloyd said and turned to Colette again. "What did you say?"

"The song yesterday... Was it...Um, was it about me?"

Lloyd stared at her for a moment, then he smiled. He got on his feet and placed himself in front of the window. He looked out on the beaches of Altamira and searched for the right words.

"No, Colette. It was about Zelos"

Colette flew on her feets, stomped angrily in the ground and bursted out on the room, paintings crashing down on the floor when she smashed the door behind her.

"What did that voice come from?" Lloyd mumbled and turned around. "Colette?"

_Strange, I could swear it sounded like my voice. But I didn't say anything._

Above him, inside the ventilation drum, Sheena Fuyibayashi smiled to herself. The people of Mizuho had many secrets, and the voice changer was one of them.

_This is perfect! Now Colette thinks that Lloyd is in love with Zelos, so she'll avoid him forever! Mwahaha, Lloyd Irving, you're mine!_

_Nothing can take me down now!_

As a matter of fact, it could. The ventilation drum suddenly collapsed, and Sheena fell together with it.

She and the ventilation drum (which was of steel) came smack down on Lloyd, who instantly passed out.

Genis and Zelos came in through the door with anxious looks on their faces.

"We heard a crash" Zelos said, with his sword in his hand. "Is it the ten foot monster? Half-Elven friend, let's burn the whole room just in case!"

"Uh, the ventilation drum fell down" Sheena said as she got up on her feet. "Yes, it must've been the monster!"

"I shall taste his blood" Zelos said with a thriumphing smile on his face. "Come now, my little half-elven magician-friend, we're out for some monster whacking!"

Zelos and Genis disappeared, singing a horrible song about blood-thirst as they went down the corridors.

Lloyd suddenly moved, whining and rubbing the back of his head.

"Lloyd, are you okay?" Sheena asked and bent down to help him up.

"Uh...Where am I?" Lloyd asked as he carefully stood up. "The world is spinning..."

"Come Lloyd, sit down over here..."

Lloyd suddenly stopped and looked at Sheena, his face formed like a question mark.

"Who the hell are you?"

* * *

Wow, longest chapter so far. Lloyd has been struck by amnesia, and Regals secret plan has been revealed.

But, will the band get any songs ready until the concert, which is only a few days away? And will Colette ever speak to Lloyd again?

Mwahahaha, the romance is finally kicking in, at least on one front...

Anyway, stay tuned for more juicy episodes, and you'll find out. Don't forget to review, my dear reviewers!

Take care!


	4. A Mysterious Letter

Wow, thanks a bunch for all the reviews! It's nice that little swedish me can get so much appreciation for a fic!

Anyway, lets do some reviewers response.

MoonCannon: I always try to make them as long as I can. Thank you, keep reading.

ShimaGenki: Oh, I'll continue for sure. Just scroll down and you'll get chapter four.

xZero84x: Kratos is in this fic, but not right now... Keep your eyes open, he'll pop up when you least expect it.

SiLeNtPzYcHo: Glad you liked it, but watch it, falling off chairs tend to be bad for your back. And Regal isn't on anything :hides prescriptions: Really, he isn't.

KratosFan: Kratos is actually my favourite character in ToS, but I wanted him to have a different role in this fic... You'll have to wait before you find out, though, but not for long...

That's all, thanks a bunch again, keep reading and I'll keep writing.

Disclaimer: I own this game, Namco does too. Our fight isn't over yet!

* * *

**-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 107-**

**Name: Zelos Wilder**

**Age: 22, honey**

**Weight: 150 Ibs**

**Occupation: Singer and casanova of the Chosen**

**Instrument of choice: My lovely voice**

**Pets: If you consider the gals living in my garden as pets... Hmm, okay.**

**Favourite possession: Myself, of course.**

**Last thing you bought: I don't buy, I _get _stuff. **

**Favourite band member: Ah, where to begin.. Raine's lovely and all, but she has a hard stick... I'm kind of more leaning towards Sheena, but she's awfully strong. **

**Favourite Movie: The Chosen Of Tethe'Alla-A Biography**

**Favourite book: The Chosen Of Tethe'alla- A Biography**

**What do I do in 10 years: Hmm, maybe I'll have a bigger house, with lots of rooms for all my girlfriends.**

**Motto: If a girl doesn't like me, she's definately a guy.**

**-Allright, thanks a bunch, Zelos, see ya later-**

* * *

Someone knocked on the door. Genis got on his feet, and sneaked towards the brown, wooden door with golden decorations. 

"Who is it?" He asked, with his usual girly voice.

"It's the butler. Are you Lloyd Irving?"

"No."

"Fine, I'll give it to you anyway."

"Did a ten foot monster send you?" Genis sharply asked with his hand on his weapon.

"Uh, no sir."

Genis opened the door. A butler dressed in black suit and with a grey, silvery beard gave Genis an envelope.

"What is it?" Genis asked. "Hmm, I'd say it weighs about 114 gram"

"Truly interresting" The butler said, still standing in the door opening.

"You may leave" Genis said, his eyes shining like on Christmas. "A present for me!"

The butler didn't move, he muttered something that Genis could not hear.

"Sir" he said and coughed, his wrinkled face forming a slightly angrier look. "It's common courtesy to give servants money when they deliver something"

"Really?" Genis let his small fingers run over his weapon, which name he couldn't pronounce, and neither can the writer of this fic. "Let's do it this way... STALAGNITE!"

Genis, 12 years old and the cheapest midget on the planet, blew the butler through the ceiling. Then he closed the door and and let out a sinister laugh.

* * *

"Well, I guess that solves it" Zelos said. They had all gathered in the restaurant of Altamira. "We just got ourselves the songs we needed." 

"But we don't know who wrote them" Sheena said. "And who would send an envelope with songs to Lloyd, and why?"

"Maybe Lloyd sent it to himself?" Zelos suggested.

"Who mails stuff to himself, that..." Genis asked, but stopped in the middle of the sentence. "Uh, the worst thing is that the probability of Lloyd mailing himself is kind of high."

"But they are good, aren't they" Colette said. "Why don't we use them?"

"Hmm." Zelos sat down on his knees in front of Lloyd, who was sitting in a wheelchair (he could walk perfectly, but somehow a wheelchair was more fitting for someone with amnesia)

"Lloyd" He said, and looked Lloyd deep in his eyes. "Did you write these songs?"

"I have no idea, but I don't like you" Lloyd said. "I'd rather spend a day chained to a totempole then with you, annoying person"

"His language has improved" Raine said in Lloyds defense. "But his manners are as bad as ever"

"Quiet, annoying person" Lloyd yelled. "You are inferior being! I BE MIGHTY!"

"Yeah, yeah" Genis said. "Shall we do the songs or not?"

"We have no other choice" Sheena said. "Unless someone writes two better songs today."

"I'll do it!" Raine said, jumping up and down. "I have this amazing idea!"

"Anyone else?" Sheena tried, but everyone shook their heads.

"I'LL DO IT!" Raine screamed. "OH PLEASE, LET ME! LOOK, I HAVE A GREAT SONG HERE..."

Strangely, the whole restaurant emptied within a second.

"Where did everyone go?" She asked the chef that passed by.

"Oh, just follow the cloud of dust and you'll find them"

"Argh!" Raine muttered and clenched her teeth. "This means homework!"

* * *

_An exciting music plays._

_They come walking. In slow motion, of course. _

_You can see every curl in Zelos hair move slowly from side to side_

_Every single one of Raine's face muscles forms into a decisive mask. _

_Regal struggles to keep himself from falling asleep, or so it seems. _

_Presea is holding a tight grip around her mighty battle ax. She will eliminate those who oppose her._

_Sheena of Mizuho, her face is showing no emotion. Her fists are clenched. She will not lose, definately not to that disgusting angel._

_Colette, yes. She has wings, and thus, she's the favourite of winning it all. _

_Lloyd, in a wheelchair that will lower his ability of moving around. But it provides speed, not manuverability. He will crush them._

_Genis smiles. He has calculated it all. His chance of winning is 42 . (Or was it 4,2 ?)_

_They are all readt for IT._

_Oh yes, It is time. For the allmighty Race. The Race above all others._

_The Altamira Hotel Marathon. A race that has been done for centuries, in the same way._

_Who can reach the top terrace of the hotel first, without using the elevators?_

_Who will come out first through the glass doors, and ring the giant bell to announce victory?_

_They have all prepared secret weapons, hoping that they would bring victory:_

_Zelos secret weapon is so secret that he himself knows nothing about it._

_Raine has made a map of the hotel, so she knows every shortcut there is._

_Regal has the perfect plan. He will fake breathing difficulties, so that the medics are forced to bring him to the terrace so that he can get fresh air._

_Presea has her axe. Why not just decapacitate all potential enemies from the start? SHE WANTS BLOOD._

_Lloyd has prepared his wheelchair. He wants nothing more than to beat the crap out of the strangers around him, so he has installed a motor on it. His wheelchair is now inofficialy TWFW (The World's Fastest Wheelchair) and goes over 25 km/h._

_Sheena has rigged all corridors with smoke grenades. Smoking!_

_Genis has sprinkled water on all floor surfaces. All he needs to do is an Icicle, which would turn it all into a slippery ice-skating course! MWAHAHAHA! He wears special shoes with spikes underneath, so that he can take full advantage of it._

_Colette. She has her red hammer. She will crush first best window, and fly up from the outside. _

_Those are the eight people that will compete in this years Altamira Hotel Marathon._

_The prize is unknown, but it's probably good. _

_Let us begin!_

* * *

"Haha, I'm sorry my voloptous hunnies, but I'm going to win!" Zelos said, and struck a pose. They were all standing in the lobby, just waiting for the hotel manager to signal the start. 

"Shouldn't we practice instead of fooling around?" Sheena said. "We're playing tomorrow!"

"Oh my beloved Sheena, you are correct" Zelos said, and grabbed her hand. "Consider this a warm up for tomorrow"

"Let go of my hand, you pathetic freak!" Sheena yelled. "I'm going to beat you so hard! You ain't going up to the first floor, I'll crush you before you even reach the stairs..."

She had a murderous look on her face, and Zelos giggled nervously.

"Ooh, I like strong women"He mumbled, sweating. He wouldn't survive for a minute against Sheena. "Someone interrested in changing places? Someone? Anyone? Please?"

The elevators had been shut down, so the only option was the stairs. There were four sets of stairs on each floor, four ways to get up. The goal was the terrace, and the first one to ring the bell there would be announced as winner.

"You annoying persons! I will win!" Lloyd said, holding the wire that would start his engine. "You are inferior beings! I be Lloyd from Zotorg!"

_They were ready. This years Altamira Hotel Marathon would be one to remember._

_5..._

_The contestants are getting ready..._

_4..._

_Regal tries to keep himself from falling asleep._

_3..._

_Raine finishes reading her book, while Genis is exploring the insides of his nostrils._

_2..._

_Colette takes out her wings and Lloyd starts his engine._

_1... _

_Zelos throws an anxious look on Sheena. She looks dangerous._

_0..._

_BANG!_

The 76th Altamira Hotel Marathon had begun.

* * *

Read and review, my fellow reviewers. Yep, that is the blue button you're going to press. Who is going to win the Altamira Hotel Marathon? And a dark secret about Presea is revealed... 

If you read chapter 5, you will find out about it all. Take care!


	5. The Altamira Hotel Marathon

Thanks a bunch for the reviews people! I love you all!

**Angelglory**: Sleepy people rock, but will Regal win... Hmm, maybe. Like your fic, btw.

**CKO**: Oh Yuan will be in this, don't worry... But when? Only I know!

**MoonCannon**: Glad you're still reading, here's the next chapter!

**Black Winged Huntress**: Yes, who will win? Just a few scrolls down, you'll find out!

**SnowCrystal**: I have no clue why there's a marathon, I guess... Or wait, I know! There's a marathon because...Because... Ouch, my popcorn! runs

**Dragoonknight1**: Go go go marathon! Yep, it begins further down the page.

**KratosFan**: My favourites are Regal and Kratos (you were just a little bit off there) and I'm glad you like this fic!

**Vish**: Un-serious? Don't you think this fic is as serious as it can be? I know Lloyd's seventeen, but he himself doesn't know.

**Spectre**: Well, I better get going if I'm going to reach chapter 42 before 2006. Keep reading.

**I'm nuts**: Eh, think? I do think a lot, but it mostly hurts inside my head when I do.

I'm happy you're with me guys and girls, let's get this started!

* * *

**Celebrity Insanity- Issue 108-**

**Name: Genis Sage**

**Age: 12.. Or wait, write 29. Please? Please?**

**Weight: Don't know, really.**

**Occupation: Saxophonist and genius of the Chosen**

**Instrument of choice: Saxophone**

**Pets: No, but I've always wanted a Katz.**

**Favourite possession: My cooking book!**

**Last thing you bought: A microwave. For Raine.**

**Favourite band member: Lloyd! We're really tight you know! **

**Favourite movie: I don't watch movies.**

**Favourite book: Looking Cooking**

**What do I do in 10 years: Then I'll be 2 meters tall and have a really masculine voice! YEAH!**

**Motto: Everything can be solved with a Tidal Wave!**

**-Thank you Genis Sage, good luck with growing up. Bye bye. -**

* * *

Sweat was building on their foreheads. This years race would become the greatest Altamira Hotel Marathon ever.

Twelve contestants. Our eight heroes of course. A Penguinist (what the hell did a Penguinist do in Altamira?), and three local citizens all wearing bathing suits.

The hotel manager fired his gun, and but accidently shot himself in the foot. He screamed in pain, and the contestants flung forward towards the stairs.

"Banzai, oh lord of marathon contests! I shall win!" Zelos yelled and took the lead. He had it for two seconds, Raine immidiatley swung her staff and whacked his legs so that he fell flat forward, landing on Genis.

Genis became furious of course, and smashed Zelos in the head with his weapon, rolled to the side and turned The Chosen into a statue of ice in the process.

"Mwahaha, stay there and watch me win!" Genis screamed in thriumph, but didn't look where he was going and ran straight into the wall. He was knocked unconscious, of course. His head was thick, but not that thick.

Two contestants down, ten left.

Sheena reached the stairs first, closely followed by Lloyd who was drooling like a maniac until he discovered that it was virtually impossible for him to go up the stairs in his motor-driven wheelchair. He had amnesia, but he wasn't stupid.

There was only one thing to do. ABANDON THE WHEELCHAIR!

He threw himself to the side, aiming to grab the Penguinist and ride on it all the way up. He missed and hit Colette instead, he took a firm grip around her waist and didn't let go. Colette did nothing to shake him off, she said a short hi and then she smashed a window with her fist.

"We're flying up" She said, and her wings became visible. "We can win this Lloyd!"

Lloyd let out a sinister laugh. This was just too easy. He would just push that annoying angel over the edge when they had reached the terrace.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sheena had almost reached the second floor and she decided to set off the first smoke grenade to slow down the people in the stairs.

With a POOF the smoke grenade went off, and covered the whole staircase in smoke. Regal, who had abandoned his sleepy tactic at an early stage, would not be stopped however.

He flung himself through the smoke, and quickly entered the room to the right. After all, Altamira was his hometown, so he had prepared a little something that would take him to the top before everyone else.

The problem was, that he couldn't find it. He specifically asked George to put it in a room on the second floor, but he never asked which. And there were, besides all the shops, 57 rooms on the floor.

"Better start looking" He thought, and began to search through every room. It never crossed his mind just to abandon his secret weapon, he decided to waste all his time looking for it instead.

Meanwhile, Raine managed to reach the end of the first stairs, but suddenly everything went black around her. For a moment, she just stood in complete darkness, surrounded by a thick silence. She started mass-spamming Photons and Rays and Books and all other stuff, but she couldn't break through the infinite darkness.

But suddenly, that nice music started to play in the back of her head, and the second floor of Altamira Hotel formed before her eyes, and once again she was back in the real world.

"Ah, screen change" She muttered, and ran after that filthy ninja, closely followed by Presea.

* * *

Sheena held the lead for quite a while. She had almost reached the stairs leading up to the third floor when she saw something fly by outside the window. It was white, ugly, had blonde hair and a super-annoying voice and a red backpack. Colette!

Sheena clenched her fists, and held her step. That angel was playing dirty tricks! Not only was she taking the easy way up, she also hadLloyd with her!

"He's yours over my dead body, Colette" Sheena mumbled and ran over to one of the large windows. With one swift punch she broke it into a million pieces and then she started to chant to call upon the power of Volt. A lightning would surely strike that angel down!

Sheena didn't watch her back carefully though, Presea ran by and saw her chance to get rid of that summoner. She looked around, and took a few steps closer as she whistled on an incredibly innocent melody.

Then she _accidently _pushed Sheena over the edge. Yes, it was all an accident :insert sinister laugh:

"Humm, humm, la lala" Presea whistled and leaned over the edge just to see what she had done

Sheena would make a pretty good sound when she hit the ground.

Presea smiled and started to run again. The others were no match for her!

* * *

Regal opened the door. The room was dark, curtains closed. Not even the strong Altamira sun could break through them.

A man shrouded in black stood in the middle of the room, with his back towards Regal. A large silvery disco-ball was hanging above his head, and there was popcorn all over the place.

Regal took a few steps closer, unsure of what to say to this mysterious stranger, crushing the popcorns as he walked.

"Um, hi" He began, giggling nervously. "Have you possibly seen a secret-looking weapon around here?"

"I've been waiting for you, Regal" The voice said, and Regal froze.

"AH!" Regal gasped. "What are YOU doing here!"

The dark-dressed man turned around, his face still shrouded in shadows.

"We need to talk about the plan, Regal"

"B-But..."

"No buts, or I'll spank you, Regal. HARD. You haven't been keeping your part of the deal."

"B-but, we've been busy..."

"Busy running around inside this stupid hotel in this stupid town! I want inside news, now"

The stranger removed his black coat in one swift gesture, revealing a man who Regal knew well.

"Wow, that's a nasty sunburn" Regal said, trying to keep himself from laughing. "You look like a crab that has eaten a lot of tomatoes, haha"

Yuan took a step forward, but he had to force himself. He wore baby-blue shorts with pink flowers on and was holding a purple umbrella. His crisp sunburn made it almost impossible for him to move.

"Here's the deal, Shackles" Yuan said, trying to look as terrifying as he could with no success. "No jokes about my sunburn, allright? I have bad skin, not my fault. And you better start delivering some juicy news soon, Regal or I'll reveal everything about you. INCLUDING THE TEDDY BEAR INCIDENT!"

"NO!" Regal gasped. "I'll do anything, but not the teddy-bear! PLEASE!"

"Allright, Shackles" Yuan tried to smile, but his face muscles were immobilized. "Now go and win this race, soldier!"

"Uh, of course, Yuan!" Regal said, smiling anxiously and then he turned around to leave.

"Wait a second, Shackles" Yuan said, and Regal held his step. "I have an important mission for you."

"W-What is it?" Regal was trembling in fear. Such a coward.

Yuan nodded towards a bottle that stood on a table nearby.

"Is it poison?" Regal nervously asked. "Who am I going to kill?"

"IT'S SUN-LOTION, YOU IDIOT!" Yuan yelled and whacked Regal's head with his umbrella. "NOW, APPLY IT!"

"Yes, master."

* * *

That was chapter 5! The conclusion of the thrilling marathon is coming up, don't you dare miss it!

Love you all, reviewers!


	6. The Race Goes On

Took some time, expect updates to be less frequent during summer. Anyhow, thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed, here comes some response:

**Doctor Daiguri**: It's REE-DICILOUS allright! Anyway, thanks a bunch for reading.:runs away, chased by a watermelon:

**Zelda's Fox 38**:picks upp you from ground: There there. Thank you for reading, fear the revenge of the suntan lotion! Soon on theatres close by.

**The King of No Pants**: This story's end is far away, and looking at how much I generally stray from the plot, it will be looooong. I mean, what are they even doing at a marathon:slaps self:

**Hells assassin**: Oh, Sheena isn't out of the game yet… Scroll down and you'll see what she does.

**Cara:** You don't like Regal! Well, hope you like him DW-style. I personally thought they should have made him German, sleepy and such.

**CKO**: Yuans outfit is the coolest! Seriously! I agree.

**KratosFan**: They are idiots, all of them! Colette is annoying, but due to the fact that her fans are really strong and usually beat me up, I can't kill her in this fic. Sorry.

**Manu**: Uh, I speak Swedish, English and German but unfortunately not French. Vive Lloyd means something like Go Lloyd, am I right? Je'taime for reading this story. (I love you for reading this story… Or was I horribly wrong? It's hard to guess, you know)

**InuKratosStan**: Yeah, you have an account! HOORAY! Let's have a PART-AY!

Anyway, that is all of reviewers response and randomness, hereby entitled RRR. Let us move on!

And BTW, sorry for this chapter were the randomness goes extreme! I'll fix it until next one, I promise.

* * *

**-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 112- **

Name: Presea Combatir

Age: It varies alot. ((Hmpf, yeah right))

Weight: Axe included, 1/2 ton. ((Wow, that girl's heavier than she appears to be))

Occupation: Drummer and not-really-that-talkative person of The Chosen.

Instrument of choice: One Giant Drum Set. OGDS v 2.0 with X9C hi-hats.

Pets: No.

Favourite possession: Axe. Smells really good.

Last thing you bought: Oh, I don't buy stuff.

Favourite band member: Umm, Genis. And that's only because it rhymes with...uh, Teenies!

Favourite movie: What is a...movie?

Favourite book: What is a...book?

What do I do in 10 years: I've probably cleaned my room by then. I was supposed to do that last week.

Motto: Um, I like waffles?

-Thank you, Presea Combatir, have a great life and bye bye and goodnight and whatever-

* * *

"So bring me news of the band, Shackles" Yuan said, lying on his belly while Regal applied sun-lotion to his back. "Or I'll turn your life into a living..."

"What?"

"You know what! A living...you know."

"A living room?" Regal looked puzzled. "I have two, but I guess another one won't hurt."

"Not that, idiot! A living...You know, a living and then an H-word. That's what I'll make of your life if you don't obey me."

"There's a lot of words that begin with H." Regal said, with a dreaming expression on his face. "For example: Hair, hurt, head, hi, havoc, hypocrite, hold, heart, hallo, hillbilly, hurl, hinge, hands, hangover..."

-Three hours later-

"...homerun, half-past-nine and Hadoken. So which one is it?"

"According to the Renegade Codex, I'm not allowed to swear" Yuan mumbled. "I am allowed to say: Moths, ... , Exsphere, inferior beings and inferior beings. But you know, the H-word. Like when you say go to..."

"Go to Hima?" Regals face looked like a replica of a question mark. "Go to...hair?"

"You are hopeless, Shackles" Yuan sighed.

"Indeed." Regal answered.

"Apply some on the neck too, please."

"Indeed."

"Can you stop saying indeed all the time?"

"Indeed."

"YOU'RE HOPELESS!"

"Indeed."

* * *

While Regal wasted time massaging Yuan, Colette and her backpack Lloyd had almost reached the top.

"I AM WINNING!" Lloyd yelled in thriump. "Er, I mean, we're winning Colette!"

"Yup, almost..."

Suddenly, Colette froze. Something yellow flew by her. Her eyes sparkled.

"A...butterfly!" She reached out her arms. "A BUTTERFLY!"

"Colette, no!" Lloyd screamed. "Bad butterfly!"

"Pretty butterfly..." Colette said in a trance-like condition. "Come to Colette..."

"GAH, I WAS SO CLOSE TO WIN, AND THEN YOU BEGIN TO CHASE BUTTERFLIES!" Lloyd yelled, and decided to abandon the ship.

Sure, the edge of the roof wasn't more than twenty meters away. He could easily make it if the wind conditions were right, if a sudden burst of air miraculously would lift him up, if his arms suddenly would transform into wings, if the sun would instantly fall down and if, but just if, he'd have his room cleaned til Friday.

That's what he thought. He did jump, but didn't reach very far.

"Victory, here I come!" He yelled while in mid-air. And then he fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH….hack…cough…wheeze….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…..BANG! OUCH!"

* * *

While Colette was chasing butterflies, and Lloyd was falling towards ground at high speed, Sheena was just recovering from her fall.

She was lying on the beach.

"She's waking up!" Someone said, followed by a OOOOH.

Sheena opened her eyes. A bunch of drooling, male tourists stood around her and watched her closely.

"What the hell are you looking at!" Sheena yelled and got on her feet.

"Guess, oh lovely one!"

"Are you the heirs of Zelos, or what! Get lost or I'll unleash my powerful ninja techs!"

"Oh, she's even more beautiful when she's angry…" They said, dreamingly.

"I'm serious, guys!" Sheena shouted and drew her cards. "I can make toast of you in no time."

KLING!

"Gah, my leg!"

THUMP!

"Ouch, my stomach!"

SMOCK!

"My teeth!"

BLAM!

"Urgh! MY EYES!"

KA-CHING!

"Hey, a nickel!"

BANG!

Sheena used a smoke bomb, and headed for the hotel covered by the smoke. There was still a chance for her to win, but that required some cheating.

But, in order to be victoriuos, all means are allowed. Even if it includes illegal abuse of Summon Spirits.

Or?

* * *

A knock was heard.

"Who is it?" Yuan asked. He was sitting in an armchair, zipping on a delicious Pina Colada. Regal had left, realizing that he was after all participating in a marathon. He would request that 30 minutes would be subtracted from his total time, after all he had been occupied doing something else during those 30 minutes. Then you can't count them, can you?

Back to Yuan, who rather not wanted to get up from his comfortable chair.

"Who is it?" He repeated and turned his head towards the door.

"It's me, Botta" The voice, obviously belonging to just Botta, replied.

"I'm coming!" Yuan said, excited to finally meet his old friend again. He got up from the chair, and screamed in pain. "MY SUNBURN!"

Ignoring the extreme pain which spread like a malignant fungus over his body, he walked over to the door and opened it.

Botta stood outside, dressed in a brown, expensive suit. He had a black briefcase in one of his hands, and he had his usual I've-been-electrified hairstyle.

"Botta…How unusual clothing…Er, what brings you here?" Yuan asked, trying to smile. His face muscles didn't react at all, since they were all dead.

"I am a salesman and I wish to sell insurance."

"What? I already have all the necessary insurance, Botta. Why don't you come in and talk for a while? It's been so long since…"

"I wish to sell insurance" Botta repeated in a monotone voice.

"I have all the insurance I need, Botta" Yuan said again. "Now…"

"Aha, but I bet you don't have insurance against people who SELL insurance, am I right?"

"Uh, that of course, but…"

Botta smiled and began rambling again.

"Don't you just hate it when those insurance agents come knocking on your door, forcing you to buy all sorts of un-necessary insurance? Just buy our insurance against insurance agents and you will be perfectly insured against them! We really hate those awful, non-stop talking insurance sellers, so now we offer YOU a way to stop them!"

Yuan closed the door, and opened it again, just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. Botta was standing there, still smiling.

"Allright, Botta, I'm sorry, but I do not wish to buy any insurance against insurance or whatever it was. Goodbye."

With that, Yuan closed the door.

"You'll be sorry when those insurance agents come!" Botta yelled. "YOU'LL BE SORRY!"

He sighed, and sat down in his chair again. Took another zip of his Pina Colada and leaned back.

Suddenly, something red flew by his window, heading downwards at high speed.

"What the…"

A nasty sunburn, an inside informer who didn't have a clue of what he was doing, an old friend gone totally insane and mysterious objects falling from the sky…

What had he ever done wrong in his life, to earn this?

….

**Random Skit 1: Raine's birthday!**

**Raine: Oooh, oooh, I wonder what they have prepared for me this year!**

**:Raine opens the door: **

**Raine: Nothing here. Sheesh, I was expecting this big surprise.**

**:Raine freezes:**

**Raine: But then again, this is a surprise. I was expecting a surprise, so not having a surprise is a surprise! AHA! But that means I got a surprise as I was expecting. But that itself is surprising as I were…**

**Zelos: Allright, I can't take it any longer! My brain melts! Happy birthday, Raine!**

**:everyone comes out, cheering:**

**Raine: Aw, how nice! But, no time for cake, party or anything that is too fun. Let's do homework!**

**Everyone: Oh no...**

* * *

Sheena readied herself, and began to chant the ancient spell that would summon Luna.

Suddenly, she heard a loud bang.

"Damn!" someone yelled. It was Lloyd.

Sheena began to chant again...Wait a second. Lloyd!

Yes, it was Lloyd. He had just come crashing down from above, and landed in a pile of garbage.

"Here, let me help you" Sheena said, and helped Lloyd on his feet. His arm was pointing in a strange angle.

"Oh my god, Lloyd. Your arm..."

"I'm fine, mystery woman" Lloyd said and smiled weakly. "It's nothing, really. Just a minor wound."

He pushed her aside, and started walking towards the hotel. Suddenly, he froze, in the middle of a step.

"OH MY GOD! MY ARM!" He yelled in panic, staring intensly at his broken arm, gasping for air. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! IT'S OFF!"

Then he turned his head and looked Sheena in the eyes.

"Can you believe it, mystery woman?" He asked, trying to smile while his eyelids became heavier. "It's broken. In two... Just hanging...Wow..."

First, he started to lean forward, struggling to maintain balance. His eyes started to wander aimlessly, and he stumbled forward. Then he fainted.

Sheena dashed over to him, and captured him before he hit the ground. His face was pale, and his arm looked like it had been run through a document destroyer.

"God, I must take him to a nurse" Sheena said, and lifted him up. "Maybe Raine could... Or not."

She smiled. It would be perfect to take him to the hospital, they could spend some time alone.

_You're mine, Lloyd Irving. Once I'm done with you, you won't know who Colette Brunel is._

_But then again, you don't know that now either, do you..._

And then Sheena Fuyibayashi went down the main street in search for a hospital, giving up all thoughts of the marathon.

She could live with the name "Mystery Woman". After all, it had a certain ring to it.

--------

There was only one staircase left before the top. Presea was running as fast as she could, closely followed by Raine and the mysterious Penguinist.

Presea was certain that she would win it, she was a lot faster than Raine and the Penguinist. But she was to be proven wrong.

Just when she was about to take the first steps of the chairs, she tripped. She fell flat on the floor, and dropped her axe in the process. Raine and the Penguinist ran by.

"Oh shoot!" She exclaimed and punched the ground. "I was so close!"

Raine ran, almost as fast as she ran when Teacher's Handbook issue 2 was first released. But the Penguinist was surprisingly fast, and she could not shake it off her back. The glass doors at the end of the staircase grew before her eyes.

She tried to whack the Penguinist unconscious with her staff. No use. The Penguinist had a head of stone.

It ended with them both throwing themselves through the glass doors, sending pieces of shattered glass everywhere.

Raine landed slightly ahead of the Penguinist, and she quickly got on her feet. The bell was only 20 meters away now, she was so close to victory. There was a lot of people on the roof, they all watched the two finalists with great anticipitation.

But the Penguinist had not given up. Using its last powers, it dashed past Raine, jumped towards the bell to ring it and...

KLONG!

Raine froze, and the Penguinist landed in front of the bell. They had both missed.

"Genis Sage, what the hell do you think you're doing!" Raine yelled. Her little brother was smiling in thriump, as he stood by the bell doing the victory sign.

"I'm winning, sister" He said, hugging the giant bell.

Raine was about to burn up. She had been so close, and then her very own brother had spoiled her chance of winning. This was even worse than when she ended up without getting an autograph from her favourite author, after waiting for six hours.

"We have a winner!" The hotel manager, whose foot had been taken care off. "Mr Genis Sage, congratulations! How does it feel?"

"It feels nice" Genis replied, enjoying the look on Raine's face.

"But how did you do it? You got knocked out at the start of the race, but managed to do an amazing comeback. How?"

"Well, I managed to regain consciousness and crawl over to the Save Point and..."

"Curse that stupid Save Point!" Raine yelled in anger. "I'm going to burn it! BURN IT!"

* * *

It was night. Their last night in Altamira. Tomorrow, they would leave for Meltokio. They had spent the afternoon rehearsing, everyone except for Lloyd and Sheena who were still at the hospital. Zelos had been placed on the beach so that his ice-casing would melt, and he had caught a nasty cold.

"Gee, I don't know if I can sing tomorrow" He said and sneezed.

"Of course you can" Raine said. "I have this amazing new healing technique that will cure you instantly. It's called I'll-Beat-The-Hell-Out-Of-Zelos-If-He-Complains-About-His-Cold-Again."

"On a second thought. I feel just fine."

"I thought so. I'll go up on the terrace for a while." She threw an angry look at Genis, who were polishing his gigantic prize. It was twice the size of him.

Regal slept, as usual and Presea was reading a book. Colette was playing with a butterfly that had somehow flown in.

Raine took the elevator up to the terrace. Altamira at night was a tremendous sight. The stars sparkled and spread their beautiful light over the city.

"It has been a long time." Someone said from behind. The voice seemed awfully familiar. She turned around.

It was the Penguinist from earlier.

"Ah, you can talk" Raine said. "What brings you here to Altamira?"

"I wanted to see you again, Raine"

"What? Who are you?"

The Penguinist took a step forward.

"It's me. Kratos."

"KRATOS!" Raine exclaimed. "It's been so long!"

"Sssh, I don't want Lloyd to find out I'm here. That's why I'm wearing this sillydisguise."

"He's at the hospital right now, I understand if you're sorry..."

"Oh no, that serves him right. I've missed you, Raine." Kratos said, his face barely visible in the blue suit.

"I've missed you too, Kratos." Raine said and smiled. "I've missed you too."

---------------

That was chapter 6. Meltokio next! Read and review


	7. Concert And Dark Figures

--- 

A new chapter, wohoo! Thanks all reviewers, here comes the response!

E.S Simeon: Glad you liked it. More Sheena/Lloyd moments in the next chapter!

InuKratosStan: Yes,Kratos do have a hard head. He has sued me for revealing that, actually. So, we'll see if I need to make an officialapology in future chapters.

Zelda's Fox 38: YAY! I got a gold sticker! WOHOO! stickies it on shirt

Teddy-The-Bear: Indeed. (REGAL ALERT!)

King of No Pants: I will keep writing. I've figured the story will be between 8-78 chapters. Go me.

Just some TOS fan: Yes, I do make fun of Regal alot. We'll see more of Regals serious sides in the next chapter. Romance warning...

Doctor Daiguri: Thanks for the compliments. I bow to you, my master.

lugiamania: You'll see how the concert goes...below.

Yes, a short chapter here, I'm building up for a longer chapter with more romance. That is the focus of the next chapter. But first, concert and an unexpected guest.

Thanks for reading.

---

**-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 114- **

Name: Sheena Fuyibayashi

Age: Take a guess. Interviewer guessed 24 and got beaten up.

Weight: I'm not answering to that.

Occupation: Bass guitarist and voloptuous hunny of The Chosen.

Instrument of choice: Bass guitar

Pets: Corinne, I guess. But not anymore. Didn't really like him anyway.

Favourite possession: Corinne's bell. Don't really need it, but it makes a fun noise when you squeeze it.

Last thing you bought: I don't buy things. I steal things. Oops, did I say that?

Favourite band member: Is there anyone in the band that is sane? No. So I refuse to answer that question. But Lloyd is cute. :D

Favourite movie: I don't watch movies.

Favourite book: I don't read books.

What do I do in 10 years: I'll be married to Lloyd, and we'll have children.

Motto: Don't use a motto. That is my motto.

-Thank you, Sheena Fuyibahashiyounashi or whatever, good luck with your life-

**---

* * *

**

Meltokio was packed with people. Every inch of the streets in the imperial city were crowded with all sorts of odd looking humans, half-elves, katz', penguinists, and all the other creatures you could imagine seeing in a city that is celebrating a king's birthday.

An enormous stage had been built in front of the castle, right by the church, and enormous speakers spread the music of the bands that had been chosen to play to honor the king.

The king, yes. Where was he? He was supposed to make his birthday speech 10 minutes ago.

The crowd was getting worried. Actually, they didn't care at all. They were just there for the music and the free food.

**-Inside the Meltokio Castle-**

"I'd say what an amazing painting!" The king said and smiled widely. His eyes looked like they were made of glass, and he had a hard time maintaining balance.

"That is the wall, dear." Princess Hilda replied. "Come now, it is time for your annual speech."

"Spee-eech?" The king mumbled and turned towards Hilda. "Speeeheeech? Schuch a funny word..."

"Almost as funny as minimalistic, but just almost. Now, let me help you." She walked over to help the king stand properly. "Why do you always have to get drunk on occasions like this?"

Suddenly, the king froze. Then he pushed princess Hilda away and stretched out his body.

"Drunk?" He said, smiling. "I am not drunk, Hilda. Look, I can walk straight."

He did walk in a straight line for two seconds. Then he tripped over his own feet and fell down the stairs.

"I am all-rights, Hilda" He yelled from below. "I just can't understhand why someone would... ah never mind..."

"We must go now, dear."

"Wait, I just thought of something... You know, Hilda... During my reign I've found out that there are three types of people in this word... Those who can count... And those who can't."

"What's the third type?"

"What third type? You hear voices, Hilda. Come on, my servants await!"

----------

"We're going to screw up." Genis mumbled. "I'm absolutely sure of it. I'm so nervous I can't even hold my saxophone right."

"Me too. I've forgotten what parts I play, and what parts Lloyd play." Colette said, looking guilty.

"Have you forgotten my parts, angel!" Lloyd exclaimed as he grabbed his electric guitar. "Now how do I know what to play?"

"Does she memorize your parts, Lloyd?" Sheena asked and frowned her forehead.

"Well, yeah."

"O-kay, I don't even want to know how you do it."

"It's simple, really. I just..."

"I said I don't wanna know."

"But..."

"No buts..."

"I love butts!" Zelos said and smiled. "Especially..."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Zelos." Sheena waved her bass guitar over her head, and had a murderous look in her eyes.

"Okey-dokey, Sheena's feeling pokey."

"We're gonna die!" Genis weeped. "Can they execute someone if you play wrong?"

"I have a bad feeling" Colette said. "We haven't practiced enough. And what if they don't like our songs."

"Then it's Lloyds head!" Zelos yelled and waved a finger against Lloyd. "He wrote the songs, and I will rip off his toenails if he destroys my image!"

"Calm down, everyone." Raine said. "I'm sure you will all do fine. Those new songs that we got in that mysterious letter will work, I'm sure. Just focus and do your best."

"Sure, I'll do my best sis." Genis said and faked a smile. "But I'm still going to die."

"Me too." Colette smiled. "I will do my best, that is. Not die."

Zelos jumped up on a chair and struck a pose.

"Do not fear, my voloptous hunnies and everyone else in the band! For I, Zelos Wilder the Chosen will not allow our great band to fail. We shall overcome all obstacles together as a team, and only together can we win. So come on, let us pray for our success and if we do, we will succeed!"

A long silence followed.

"Hmm" Sheena said. "I don't think anyone here have the heart to say no after such a dramatic speech. Let us go and die then."

"You are truly an optimist, my voloptous hunny." said Zelos while he was trying to get his hair to lie perfectly around his face.

They were standing inside the church, from where they would enter the stage when it was their turn. The doors where opened, and a man came in.

"The Chosen, you're up. The stage is all yours in 2 minutes." He said, and then disappeared in a cloud of pink smoke.

"I guess it is time" Raine said. "Just do your best out there. Is everyone ready?"

Genis, who was holding his saxophone as hard as he could, nodded nervously.

"I'm ready" Sheena said, checking carefully that her black bass guitar was properly tuned.

"What's the setlist again?" Colette asked. "I kind of forgot."

Raine took out a piece of paper and read out loud.

1. Rock The World

2. Falling In Love

3. The Things I Meant To Say

4. Oh Raine (Take Away My Pain) "

She froze when she read the last line.

"Who wrote this song!" She yelled in Genis ear.

"How am I supposed to know? It was one of the three songs in the letter."

"But why would someone send us songs?" Regal asked.

Everyone turned towards Regal, looking suspiciously at him.

"What is it?" He said innocently. "You look like you just saw something surprising."

"This is a surprise. You are awake." Zelos said and waved his hand in front of Regals face.

"What's so strange about that?" Regal asked and frowned his forehead.

"Absolutely nothing." Zelos said and smiled. "DUH!"

"What is the meaning of DUH anyway?" Colette asked. "Raine never teaches us important things like that."

"It means Don't Use Helium"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Hmm, I guess it makes sense. DUH! DUH! DUH!"

"What's wrong with helium?"

"I dunno, just DUH!"'

"Huh?"

"No, it's DUH!"

"What's DUH!"

"DUH is DUH!"

"I KNOW THAT! But what is it!"

"Just DUH!"

"You are driving me mad." Raine said, interupting them all. Steam was coming out of her ears.

"DUH!"

"I KNOW, GODDAMMIT! NOW GET OUT ON THE STAGE BEFORE I GET MAD!"

Zelos leaned towards Genis and whispered in his ear.

"So how is your sister when she's mad? Pretty intense, huh?"

"If you only knew" Genis said and sighed.

* * *

The crowds cheering was unbeliavable when the band entered the stage. Their expactations were high, and their volume was even higher.

Zelos grabbed his microphone and put on his best smile.

"Are you ready to rock, Meltokio!" He yelled.

"YEAH!" The audience yelled back.

Still smiling, Zelos turned towards the rest of the band.

"May I introduce to you all..." He said, making an intended pause before he started again. "On the electric guitar, the beautiful, blonde-haired bunny-cute Chosen of Sylvarant, miss Colette Brunel! Yeah!"

The crowd cheered in unison.

"On the bass guitar, the incredibly cute Sheena Fuyibayashi! Just take a look at those..."

An angry look from Sheena made Zelos avoid mentioning what he originally intended. He kept on smiling as if nothing had happened and walked over the Presea.

"Give her a big applause! Behind the drums, honey-sweet Presea Combatir!"

"Of course the band would be nothing without our amazing manager, Raine Sage! Come on up here and give Zelos a hug!"

Raine did enter the stage, but refused to go anywhere near Zelos. She put on her best smile, made an angry gesture towards Lloyd who was picking his nose and then she stomped off again.

"What an amazing band I have behind me" Zelos said, still keeping the same broad smile from chin to chin. "Besides my voloptous hunnies, we also have Regal, Lloyd and Genis. Give them..uh...a big hand. Let's also give a big round of applause for the king who celebrates his birthday today!"

The crowd cheered with full lungs and Zelos gave them one final big smile before Presea started to pound on the drums.

"This song is called Rock The World!" Zelos yelled, and it all began.

Or at least it was meant to begin. Just as Lloyd struck the first chord on his electric guitar, the sound just died. Zelos sang in his mic, but his voice didn't ring out from the speakers like it was supposed to.

"What the..." He said, but suddenly he saw a dark figure (So yes, it was in the middle of the day but still a dark figure. SUE ME!) standing behind a speaker with a cable in his hands.

"YOU!" Zelos screamed and dropped the microphone. "Catch him!"

The dark figure threw away the cable, which had been cut off and ran.

"Catch that thing!" Zelos yelled, and the whole band ran off stage in pursuit of the malignant mischeif-maker who had destroyed their concert.

The crowd was silent, staring at the now empty stage.

"So, what happens now?" A man said.

"I have no clue."

"Hmm, maybe we're supposed to bring them back on for an encore."

"But they never even began to play, now did they? How can you do an encore before the show even starts?"

"Hmm, good point."

* * *

"Excuse me, lady, have you seen a dark, suspicious looking figure anytime recently?" Zelos asked an old lady just outside the slums.

"As a matter off fakt, I dooo" She said with a strange voice. "He runna straight into da beelding ova there"

"Thanks alot, lady" Zelos said and bowed. "Come now, servants! Into the building!"

Raine, Presea, Lloyd, Sheena, Colette, Genis and Regal came after him. The building was large, and it had no windows. It looked like a storage building of some sort.

They all headed in. The building was dark since it had no windows, and it did not have any lights at all. It was filled with various boxes without labels.

"Hmm, where is he?" Genis said.

"He must be in a box!" Lloyd suggested. "Let's crash them all! WAHOO!"

"I have a better idea!" Colette yelled. "Let's attach them all to the roof and play Tetris!"

"Come out come out wherever you are..." Zelos said in a smooth voice. "Daddy's got cookies for..."

BANG!

Suddenly the large double doors behind them was slammed shut. It became pitch black, and they all froze.

"I think we just got trapped." Raine said.

"Could it be that the very man who saboutaged our show did this?" Zelos suggested.

"Your sharp intelligence is blinding" Sheena said sarcastically. "So what now?"

"We'll be trapped in here forever and we'll die!" Genis yelled. "Raine, if you die, can I have your golden mirror?"

"You idiot! If I die, you die!"

"What, are we linked together in some mysterious way?"

"ARGH! I am surrounded by imbecills!" Raine yelled and walked straight into a box. She fell to the ground with a large THUMP visible over her head and it became quiet.

"We're done for." Sheena said. "We have no food, no water, no silver spoons! What can we do?"

"How about we draw our weapons and start hacking the door apart?" Lloyd suggested and drew his two swords.

"Now that is an idea the Chosen approves!" Zelos said, excited. "Let us attack the fearsome beast that stands before us, and we may be victorious!"

"It's a stupid door, Zelos."

"I know. But the two glowing red eyes that roars in front of it is not."

* * *

How will the band survive this? And more importantly, can they get ahold of the person that destroyed their hope of a successful concert? And will I be able to come up with more questions?

We'll see in the next episode of Rock The World! Review, folks!


	8. Attraction

I own Tales of Symphonia. And so does Namco. They might own a few more million copies than myself, but...

Longest chapter yet, possibly, loaded with romance moments. Or at least hints of it. Thanks for reviewing, time for some response!

**Lugiamania**: Of course we'll see them play. In this very chapter, actually. Glad you read this.

**Manu**: Thanks alot, I'm aiming for the big market in France. Maybe you could become my secretary?

**The King of No Pants**: Well thank you. Not often can a man see so many capitals in a row. Amen.

**SnowCrystal:** Of course they are desperate! All fun things emerge from desperation. An old saying...of mine.

**Zelda's Fox 38**: I love you! You always give me a bunch of presents! I get so happy:eyes sparkle Colette-style: Erm, be sure to update your own fics every once in a while. Can't leave me hanging forever, can you?

**Everyone check out her stories, they are awesome:D**

**dawn at dusk**: Sun-lotion equals funnyness. Is funnyness a word? I don't know.

**Hiatus-Girl**: I will continue, rest assured. I'm aiming for at least25 chapters.

---------

**-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 116- **

Name: Colette Brunel.

Age: Um, I...Next question!

Weight: Alright, I'll wait. (BAD JOKE ATTEMPT!)

Occupation: Guitarist and 2:nd Chosen of The Chosen.

Instrument of choice: Electric guitar.

Pets: No, but I'd love to have a cute butterfly. All the ones I have had died though, they didn't like pork for some reason.

Favourite possession: Oh, I love my collection of porcelain figures.

Last thing you bought: A brownie. And it was delicious!

Favourite band member: I like everyone, but Lloyd is my best friend.

Favourite movie: Oh, I don't know. Sorry.

Favourite book: Dunno. Sorry.

What do I do in 10 years: I have no clue, sorry.

Motto: You can't say I'm sorry too many times.

-Thank you, Colette Brunel, please don't apologize for the weather as well-

* * *

"I am so good!" Kratos said, and removed his wig. "I even nailed the accent, and now they are all trapped with Cuddles! There is no way they'll get back in time to make a concert. Their career is over before it started! MWAHAHAHA!" 

The passing people looked suspiciously at the tall man still wearing a skirt, laughing maniacally to himself.

Kratos suddenly froze, his laughter died instantly and he turned around and looked at the large wooden doors, as if he tried to look through them.

"Wait a second... If I'm not mistaken, a silver-haired female half-elf was with the group. Which means, that Raine most likely is with them." He frowned his forehead. "And that means, that I most likely will get a major beating if she finds out that it was me who did it. Unless Cuddles eat them..."

His smile which had lingered on his face for a moment fell and he sighed.

"The love of my life is trapped inside a building which can't be opened, along with my monster pet that eat humans for breakfast. I guess I have no choice. I must do something."

He unsheathed his sword, and clenched his gloved fist around it. Every muscle in his body was readied and he took a deep breath.

It had to be done. He could not abandon his love, he could not turn his back on her when she needed him the most.

So he turned around, started to wave the sword frantically above his head and screamed for help.

"Let us attack in united force!" Zelos said, and readied his sword. "Regal, you first!"

"Yeah, Regal! Kick him!" Genis yelled. Regal didn't answer.

Genis took a step backward, and stepped right on a body. It was Regal. He didn't move.

"Oh my god!" Genis yelled. "It has already killed Regal!"

Suddenly, the dead person on the floor started to snore and Zelos took a leap in the air and clinged on to Raine.

"GAH! Can dead people snore! Raine, my hunny? Let's put a sword in him, and kill him properly!"

"He's not dead, you idiot." Raine said and whacked Zelos head with her staff, causing him to fall off her like dandruff. It was pitch-black, but lets call it female intuition. "He has gone to sleep."

"Now of all times." Sheena sighed. "Allright, I'll create a smoke cloud to cover our escape."

"Since it's pitch-black and I can't even see my hand, I can't understand what purpose a diversion maneuver would serve." Raine stated. "Let's just kill the thing. Zelos, make a run for it."

"Yes, sir." Zelos said and raised his sword above his head. Then he froze. "Um, why just me?"

"You are the only one who has the courage to do it."

"Of course I have, but wouldn't it be better to just attack it everybody together?"

"I'll rather send you on a suicide mission first, to see what strategy is the best."

"Hmm, makes sense. Evil monster of doom, stand aside before the might of my sword!"

"Gah!" Sheena shrieked. "That's my hand, Zelos!"

"I'm not touching your hand!"

"Then who is?"

"THE MONSTER!" Genis yelled. "It has come to eat us! Run!"

"I will save you, Sheena!" Zelos yelled. "Victory Light Spear!"

Sheena sighed.

"Over here, Zelos."

"Oh. Victory Light Spear! Victory Light Spear! Victory Lihgt Schpear! Vic... huff...puff...wheeze. It's hard doing this all the time."

"Zelos, save me, dammit!" Sheena screamed in panic. "A friggin monster is attacking me!"

"Erm, of course. Just hold your hand where I can see it, and I'll chop it free."

"The thing is, you can't see it."

"Aw well, I do have a strong feeling it's here somewhere."

"Somewhere?"

"Yeah. I might cut your leg off, but I'm sure Raine can put it back in a second."

"Sure, I'll fix it." Raine encouraged.

"Zelos, don't..."

KLING!

Sheenas heart stopped beating for a second.

"My hand is still here..."She mumbled.

"Then WHOSE hand am I holding?" Zelos yelled. "Gah, it's furry!"

* * *

Through a series of incredible adventures including loads of side-quests and monster battling, our hero party finally reached the stage again, two levels higher than previously and full of experience. 

Zelos, ignoring all rules of RPG,ran up on stage, and knocked the man who was holding the microphone unconscious. The audience were shocked, and Zelos quickly grabbed the microphone and smiled.

"Dun worry, this is all for show. He's not really unconscious, he's  
dead...erm, I mean, pretending to be unconscious. Hehe. We're back now, and ready to give you a hell of a show. "

He placed his hand over the microphone and yelled to a sound technician.

"Get this man off the stage before someone erects a tombstone. Thank you,  
and make it quick."

The sound technician was terrified, but ran in and grabbed the mans arms and dragged him away.

The band came back on stage, and the crowd cheered in excitement.

"You're so unsensitive, Zelos." Sheena said and sighed, as she grabbed her  
bass guitar.

"Thank you, my cute hunny."

"That wasn't a compliment, you idiot."

"Let's do this." Presea said, and placed herself behind the drums. She was  
barely visible behind the cymbals and hi-hats. "Are you ready, Genis?"

"Um...yeah. Good luck, Presea." Genis mumbled and blushed. The crowd was huge, and they were all expecting a success.

And that is what they got.

Lloyd struck the first chord and in the very same second, Presea let her drums explode in a powerful beat.

Zelos jumped around on stage, waving his hands along with the thousands of people in the audience and in the very same second Sheena began to play her smooth bass-melody, he broke out in song.

* * *

**Rock The World **written by...? 

**Love is overrated**

**Like a treasure already excavated**

**Nothing can make you smile**

**Like a happy song in rock style**

**We're here tonight for a single reason**

**Here to rock you in every season**

**Everybody dance, or commit treason**

**We're gonna rock the world**

**Along with every boy and girl**

**Rock everyone back on track**

**Save them all from a heart-attack**

**Rock the world, every day and night**

**Move them all into the light, yeah**

**Rock the world tonight**

**Music is underrated**

**A fact that's already been stated**

**Stand up, get rid of the hatred**

**Loosen up, don't be so frustrated**

**We're here tonight for a single reason**

**To rock you in every season**

**Dance with us now, or commit treason**

**We're gonna rock the world**

**Along with every boy and girl**

**Rock everyone back on track**

**Save them all from a heart-attack**

**Rock the world, every day and night**

**Move them all into the light, yeah**

**Rock the world tonight**

**Love is overrated**

**Like a treasure already excavated**

**Yeah, come on!**

* * *

"You all did great today" Raine said, as they all were walking back towards the inn. Meltokio which just an hour before had been a city full of life were now almost empty, it was late at the evening and most people had gone home to cure their soon-to-be hangovers. 

"Yeah, the audience were great, they seemed to like me." Zelos said, taking a few swift dance steps.

"Us, you mean. We're not your support band, Zelos." Sheena stated, thoughtfully chewing on a bubblegum. "Everyone did an awesome job, we really do have a future as a band."

"Not to mention my awesome chance of doing a solo career" Zelos happily exclaimed with a dreaming expression on his face.

The smoke coming out of Raine's nostrils made him change his mind.

"Erm, after we're done with the band, that is."

"I'm tired." Sheena said. "Let's go to bed."

"I'll race ya." Zelos suggested. "The winner decides sleeping partner."

"Deal. Be prepared for the floor, Wilder."

* * *

"Um, hi Raine." Regal said and sat down beside Raine on the bench. 

Meltokio was quiet, the noise of the festival had died out. Everyone had gone home, leaving a total mess behind. The rest of the band were in their room.

"Hi Regal." Raine said, she was gazing thoughtfully on the silent streets below. "It's kind of cold here tonight."

"Heh, I never noticed" said Regal. "But now that you mentioned, a coldwind is blowing tonight."

"We did a great job today, our first performance went great. Despite the delay."

"Indeed."

"Can I ask you something, Regal?"

"Go ahead."

"Why do you keep saying 'indeed'? Wouldn't a 'yes' be enough?"

Regal smiled and his eyes lost themselves somewhere on the starry night sky.

"I am the president of a great company, and I must answer formally to all questions."

"Is it presidential law?"

"I guess not. But I'm used to saying 'indeed', so I'll stick with it."

"I'm not really bothered." Raine gave him a broad smile and moved a bit closer. "I just wondered."

When she came closer, Regal suddenly noticed her stunning beauty in a way he had never done before. Her eyes reflected the shining stars in a magic way, and her innocent face didn't have a trace of age upon it.

He couldn't understand that it had taken so long for him to realize it, and he felt quite ashamed for his stupidity. She was beautiful.

"You look lovely tonight, Raine." Regal said, blushing. He prayed that it wouldn't be obvious.

"Thank you." Raine answered and fired off another blinding smile, making Regal blush even more. "Why is your face so red?"

"Um, I'm allergic."

"To what?"

"Eh, peanuts."

"You don't eat peanuts."

"That's because I'm allergic."

"Why is your face so red then?"

"Erm..." Regal turned his head away. He couldn't look at her. He had never felt this way before, not since Alicia. "I'm tired. I should go to bed."

"Alright." Raine said, pulling her coat closer around her. "I'll stay out here for a little while. It's calming."

"Very well. Goodnight then." Regal said and got up and bowed.

When he walked away, he cursed himself.

_Allergic to peanuts? You pathetic moron. How hard can it be, just tell her  
how you feel._

Regal sighed and glanced back. Raine was sitting silently, and her white hair moved slowly in the cool wind.

"Raine!" Regal yelled.

"Yes?" She turned around, and Regal immidiately lost his ability to think clearly.

"Um... Don't sit out too long, you might catch a cold."

"I won't, thank you. Goodnight, Regal."

Regal clenched his fists and whacked his head against a nearby wall.

_Don't sit out too long, you might catch a cold?_

Idiot.

* * *

"My memory, it is back!" Lloyd suddenly yelled and woke everyone up. "WAKE UP, I REMEMBER!" 

"Yeah yeah, shut up and let me sleep." Zelos moaned and pulled his pillow over his head.

"It's a miracle!" Lloyd got out of bed and started to shake Raine violently. "Raine, I can remember!"

"Good for you, Lloyd. Goodnight."

"Raine, don't you understand? I can remember! I remember everything!"

"But yet you never pass any tests. Go you. Let me sleep."

"Come on, let's have a party!"

"Who's talking?" Genis sat up. "I said I don't want any biscuits! Get lost!"

"Genis!" Lloyd smiled. "Guess what, I remember everything now! My ammonitia is gone!"

"It's a-m-n-e-s-i-a, Lloyd." Raine mumbled. "Get back to sleep or you'll have homework."

"Yes, give me homework miss Raine!" Lloyd jumped up and down. " Oh please, I want to learn something!"

"Okay." Zelos got on his feet and grabbed the lamp nearby. "Where's the real Lloyd and what have you done to him?"

"I am the real Lloyd. Yes, L-l-o-y-d! That's me!"

"H-He can spell his own name..." Zelos raised the lamp above his head. "Hold him down, Raine. I'll knock him out! We have an imposter in camp!"

"Drop it, Zelos, or I'll drop you. Let me go to sleep or I'll chain both of you to the wall. Understood?"

"B-but..."

"Zelos, don't make me grab my staff. Go to bed, now."

"He'll kill us all when we're asleep. I know it!"

"ZELOS! SHUT UP!" Sheena yelled. "I need my beauty sleep."

"I know you do, my voloptous hunny. Maybe we can share bed tonight?"

"Raine?" Sheena asked.

"Yes?" Raine replied with a sugar sweet voice.

"Let's beat the crap out of him. Now."

"I agree."

Zelos tried to run. He was wrapped up in his sheets though, so he fell flat on the floor with no chance of escaping.

And while Raine and Sheena took turns in kicking some sanity into the poor Zelos, Lloyd sat down on his bed and grabbed a notebook.

He had some good ideas for new songs, and immidiately started to write, relieved over that his memory had finally returned.

"I DON'T NEED A VACCUUM CLEANER, I SAID!" Genis yelled and punched holes in the air with his tiny fists. "GET AWAY FROM ME, EVIL PIRATE!"

Just another ordinary evening, eh?

* * *

Genis slowly woke up. It was still dark, so it was most likely still in the middle of the night. Damn he was smart. 

He looked around. Everyone was asleep. Regal snored loudly and Zelos was lying on the floor sucking on his thumb.

Presea sat on the edge of her bed staring through the window on the opposite wall.

"Hey Presea." Genis said and sat up. "Wanna go outside for a while?"

"Sure. I can't really sleep tonight."

"Your pyjamas is nice, Genis." Presea said as they sat down on the bench outside of the inn.

"Y-You like it? We had a pyjamas party once, and everyone teased me for it."

"It's pretty. Red hearts and dancing Katz with party hats are a nice combination. Really."

"T-Thanks. My classmates said that it was girly. Lloyd thought it was hilarious. He still teases me for it sometime. But we're best friends. It's not like I tease him for sleeping nake...Erm, nothing!"

Presea smiled and pulled her blanket closer around her.

"It's cold tonight, don't you think?"

"Yeah, the nights are getting colder." Genis answered. Summer is over soon."

"Too bad. I like it when it's warm. But Altamira is too hot for me. I prefer  
this climate."

"I like it when it's cold. Especially if it snows. Everything gets so nice when its all white. I'd like to move to Flanoir someday. You could come visit anytime you like."

"That's good. But it is in the future. The band is everything right now."

Genis gazed thoughtfully on the moon. It spread its weak, white light over Meltokio and made its tall buildings shine with a eerie glow.

"I like things the way they are now. We're all back together again, just as we were two years ago. I missed times on the road. Our lives aren't on the line this time, we can enjoy ourself more."

"Yes. Let's just hope that everything goes well." Presea mumbled.

"I'm sure it will. Raine is trying to arrange for us to record an album. We  
don't have enough songs yet, though..."

"Lloyd is writing new ones now. He got his memory back tonight, and he has  
been writing ever since."

"He did? That's good, I've missed him. He has always stood up for me."

"Thank you, Genis."

"For what?"

"For being here. I appreciate it."

"I'll always be here, Presea." Genis moved closer. Presea looked him in the  
eyes, she was smiling. She took his hand. It was warm.

_I can do it._ Genis thought.

Presea closed her eyes and leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.

_Don't be afraid. He won't hurt you._

* * *

Lloyd sat by the fire inside their room. He had an acoustic guitar in his hands, and he played it silently not to wake the others. Where did all his inspiration come from?

The guitar released notes from the depths of his mind, and the lyrics came naturally.

_You are all alone tonight  
While flashing stars on the night sky  
Spread their eternal light _

You are not the first, nor the last  
Feeling lonely in this cold world  
Can't change it, happens too fast

You may be all alone  
Sinking into the darkness like a stone  
In the desert of your own mind  
Consoling thoughts are hard to find  
Walking through life like you're blind

Your heart has been torn  
And there's no end in sight  
Since the very day you were born  
You have been left without light

A lonely soul under a burning sun  
You may think it's too late  
Not too long before it'll all be gone  
No way to change your fate

You are all alone  
While sinking into the depths like a stone  
Lost in the desert of your mind  
Consoling thoughts are hard to find  
Walking through life like you were blind

"Man, that song was cheezy." Zelos said from behind and sat down on an empty chair. "Ya can't have the audience crying on your concerts, now can you?"

Lloyd looked up and put away his guitar.

"Oh, hi Zelos."

"So, how's your love-life?"

It was a big surprise. The question came out of nowhere and Lloyd lost his ability to speak for a second.

"W-what?"

"Aw come on, don't you think I've noticed the way Colette and Sheena looks at you?"

"I-I haven't noticed, seriously."

"Don't tell me you haven't seen how Colette's eyes get all shiny when she talks to you? And Sheena is like a different person when you´re around."

Lloyd remained silent, while Zelos leaned forward to steal some warmth from the dying fire.

"I mean, Sheena never takes me seriously. I admit I'm pretty tough to be around most of the times, but whenever I try to be a little bit serious she just waves it off like a joke."

"I-I don't know how to help you, Zelos."

"Heck man, I don't even know either. I mean, what do I do wrong? Maybe she doesn't like me calling her a violent banshee? Or voloptous hunny? Maybe I should start calling her for something new... Like...eh... Sheena?"

"It's a start, at least."

"Hmm, well, you're right. I'll go back to bed now, this evening has taught me that stonefloors isn't the best ones to sleep on."

He got up from the chair and rubbed his hands in front of the fire.

"Well, goodnight Lloyd. See you tomorrow, I guess."

"Yeah, goodnight."

* * *

That was it! Colette/Lloyd/Sheena moments in the next chapter, Kratos purpose becomes more clear and the surprising appearance of... the Wonder Chef?

Stay tuned for chapter 9, folks! All reviewers will get a cookie!


	9. The Wonders Of The Wonder Chef

Alright, thanks for reading! I got 13 reviews for the latest chapter, which is great! Also chapter 4 and 5 got 13 reviews, so let's make it at least 14 this time. Gotta love breaking records.

Anyway, all chapters are getting much longer now. Why? I don't know, but it can't be bad, now can it? This is the longest chapter yet! Wohoo!

Personal Facts about the bandmembers is done, from now on each chapter will begin with a random insane skit. :D

Time for reviewers response!

**lugiamania: **This chapter became so long, so instead Kratos will be the main person of nearly the whole next chapter. Yuan as well. :D

**PowHammer: **Glad you liked it, here is the update you wanted!

**Zelda's Fox 38: **I get all happy when you review, but even happier when you update your own fic... So get moving! What will I get for this chapter, I wonder? And Kratos outfit this time? You will see in time!

**J.G The Game Master: **No pairings are decided, but they may turn out to be a lot different then what you may think initially... :D

**GyppyGirl2021: **More Gesea stuff will come in future chapters:D

**Colette The Klutz: **Gah! Death threats! Of course we'll see more of the growing Raine/Kratos/Regal triangle in future chapters:D

**Hiatus-girl: **Glad you liked it! Kratos is actually my favourite character in the game, but so far in this fic he's done nothing but dress out in weird outfits. Next chapter will be all about Kratos and Yuan... They have gotten too little time in this fic. :D

**SnowCrystal: **:hands out cookie: You will get another one if you review this chapter as well, hehe. I have plenty of tasty cookies for everyone!

**The King Of No Pants: **As said above, no pairings are decided and although it may seem like some characters are bound to fall in love, so may not be the case... It'll all come clear, eventually.

**cutie1004: **Weird for her to play the guitar? What do you think she should have played? More sleepwalking jokes with Genis in future chapters! Keep reading! You reviewed three times! A cookie for that!

**Manu: **Alright, your first job as my secretary will be to... Uh, review? Glad you keep reading this fic!

**Lightweight: **Oh yes, the Wonder Chef is here! Yes, chapter are getting longer! I don't know why, but it's good, isn't it?

**axgirl12: **Thanks, glad you like them all! All chapters can't turn out equally good, it's all a matter of personal taste. :D Keep reading!

That was all for this time, huge thanks to you! Anyway, let's get started!

**

* * *

**

**-Random Skit 2: Lady Fortune-**

**Zelos: Hi there, mr Fortune Teller!**

**Lady Fortune: It's Lady Fortune. That is my artist name.**

**Zelos: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, miss lady Lady Fortune... So... What's going to happen to me? This is so exciting!**

**Lady Fortune: My vision is clouded... Make it clear by giving me 1000 Gald.**

**Zelos: Uh, alright. Here.**

**Lady Fortune: Ah, yes... I see dancing people... They are cheering. They are happy. Many girls!**

**Zelos: Yes? And, are they all in love with me? Go on.**

**Lady Fortune: They dance and jump, they are very glad. They are waving to you.**

**Zelos: Cool! Am I waving back?**

**Lady Fortune: Erm, no. The coffin is closed. **

**-END-**

**

* * *

**

All was quiet. Or it would have been, if it wasn't for the loud snorings of Regal that shook the very building.

Raine carefully opened the door. Everyone was sleeping.

"Everybody wake up!" She yelled. "I've arranged for us to go on a tour!"

No one reacted. They all kept on sleeping.

"Hallo!" Raine tried. "Listen! We're set to go on a tour! 18 concerts!"

Still no reaction.

"Hmm, I wonder if this inn has a sprinkler system." She looked up on the ceiling. "It has. How convenient."

She laughed maniacally. All she needed to do was to press the big red button labeled "Sprinkler System For Emergency Use"

She pressed it. Nothing happened. No shiny, evil drops of ice-cold water fell down on the sleeping members of the band.

She pressed it again. And again. And again. And again.

"Well, rain!" She yelled and smashed it twice. It refused to activate. "Where are you, my precious rain?"

"RAIN, RAIN, RAIN, RAIN!" She said, punching it once for everytime she said it.

"RAIN!"

Zelos awoke slowly. The world was a blur.

"RAIN! RAIN!"

He looked to his left, still unsure if he was awake or not. Raine was doing some weird dance and kept yelling her own name over and over again.

"Genis." He whispered and poked Genis side. Genis was lying on the floor sucking his thumb. A pool of drool had formed on the floor. "Genis!"

Genis opened his eyes. He threw a surprised look on Zelos.

"I hate cookies." He said and closed his eyes again.

"RAIN!"

"Genis!" said Zelos again, still poking the little half-elfs side.

"Aw, what is it?" Genis said and rubbed his eyes. "I'm tired."

"I don't care. Your sister is acting strange."

"She always is. Goodnight."

"RAIN! RAIN! RAIN!"

Zelos poked Genis again.

"So it's normal for her to dance around like a maniac while screaming her own name?"

"What?"

"See for yourself."

Genis sat up.

"RAIN! RAIN! COME ON, RAIN!"

"Now that you mention it..." Genis began, staring sceptically at his sister. "She's never done this before..."

"Insanity can strike from a clear sky, my friend" Zelos said in a deep voice, shaking his head softly from side to side. "I'm sor-"

"DAMN YOU, EVIL SPRINKLER BUTTON!" Raine yelled furiously and drew her staff, and started to beat it headlessly against the red button.

"Professor Raine, what are you doing?" Colette, who'd just awoken, asked innocently.

Raine quickly hid her staff behind her back and giggled nervously.

"Oh, I'm just...erm,well... Checking that this inn is properly built and all. We'd don't want the roof falling down on us, now would we? Hehe!"

Zelos leaned forward and whispered in Genis ear:

"Your sister is the worst liar I know. Look at her, she's all red."

"I know." Genis said and sighed. "I know. You should've seen her when I asked her to explain what sex really was."

"What did she say?"

"She started rambling about that it is when two people who are in love unite in an act of love, and... Well, blah blah blah. She wasn't even trying to come up with a good excuse."

"Good, so you know what sex is now?" Zelos said, flipping his head back which caused his hair to land perfectly behind his ears.

"Of course. It is when two trees accidently grow INTO each other. Pretty scary stuff, I wouldn't want to see it for the world." Genis laughed.

Zelos fell off his bed. Raine was a bad liar, but Genis...

Oh dear.

It was time for Doctor Love to have a little chat with him about something called flowers and bees...

* * *

"I've booked us for a world tour." Raine said, waving a piece of paper above her head when they were all eating breakfast. "We'll get the chance to go across the whole world, spreading our music."

"That's…that's great professor!" Colette said and giggled, making corn flakes fly out of her mouth. "We're famous!"

"Not yet." said Raine. "We're only the support band for a much bigger band."

"We still get to tour across the world, don't we?" Lloyd asked.

"Well, yeah." Raine said with her forehead frowned.

"So, what difference does it make? It'll be a great opportunity to spread our music until we're famous enough to go on our own tour."

"Yeah, this is amazing. Great job, Raine. " Sheena smiled from chin to chin.

"Imagine all the cities we'll get to visit!"

"When we're big enough, we might even get the chance to tour both Tethe'Alla and Sylvarant!" Genis had a dreaming expression on his face and a big piece of cheese hanging out from his mouth. "I'll be a superstar!"

"This so rocks!" Zelos exclaimed and did a little victory jig on the floor.

"This means girls, girls and even more crazy girls" he added quietly.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing. I said nothing!"

"We still need more songs" Raine said and looked at Lloyd. "You'll have to write more songs, mr Irvin. We can't do the same 5 songs over and over again."

"I'll write some more" Lloyd promised. "When is this tour going to start?"

"In four weeks, first city will be Mizuho." Raine explained.

"Mizuho!" Sheena exclaimed. "That's great! It's been so long since I was there!"

"First things first." Raine held her hand up to silence them. "We need to record an album before going on tour."

"What? Where?" Zelos crossed his arms. "We don't have enough songs for it."

"I know." said Raine. "I've managed to get ourself a record deal. We'll get the opportunity to record 15 songs and release our first album in a few weeks. The tour will be a great way of promoting it."

"But Raine…" Lloyd objected. "I can't write 10 songs on three weeks…"

"I didn't say you were going to either. We have four weeks before the tour starts. The album is scheduled to be recorded and done before we go on tour."

"That's impossible!" Lloyd yelled. "Write 10 new songs, and record 15 in just four weeks? We won't get any sleep."

"I'm sorry, Regal." Zelos said in a consoling voice, placing his hand on Regals shoulder.

"We can't forsake our sleep for it." Presea said. "It won't turn out any good if we do."

"Indeed." Regal said, talking for the first time in the conversation.

"We won't either." Raine said calmly. "The only solution is this: We all have to write songs. We are 8 people. Everyone must write a song each. Lloyd, you'll write two. It's the only way we'll make it in time. Recording and mixing will take at least three weeks."

"Which means that we only have…" Lloyd began but stopped himself. Math. "Genis?"

"Uh, one week to write our songs?" Genis said.

"Correct. We will record the album in a studio in Flanoir."

"FLANOIR!" Everyone exclaimed simultaneously and rubbed their arms. "IT'S COLD!"

"Yes. I still don't know how we'll get there. Rheairds are out of the question, we need something big for all of us and all our equipment."

"We have a lot to do…" Genis sighed.

"Let me sum it up for you!" Raine said happily. "We have to get 10 new songs ready and arrange for transportation for 8 people and a few hundred kilos of equipment to Flanoir. In one week. We can do that, can't we?"

Everyone sighed. The vacation was over.

"More cornflakes, anyone?"

* * *

"Here's the deal" Raine announced, while they were all standing outside the inn. "We need to find a way of transportation. So I suggest we'll go around town and ask people, and eventually we'll find something we can use. Hopefully! Let's split up in minor groups, everyone!"

"Do we get shiny vests as well?" Zelos asked no one in particular.

"I'll go with Lloyd!" Colette exclaimed.

"I will too!" Sheena replied quickly.

"Well, guess I'll go with Sheena and Colette then" Lloyd said, and the three headed off.

"Genis, you're with me!" Zelos growled and struck a pose. "All we need to do is find some guy and beat the crap out of him, and he'll give us his vechile!"

"If he has one." Genis added.

"Um, that of course. Presea, my cute little hunny, would you like to join us?"

"Oh, sure, Zelos." Presea answered shortly.

"Great!" Zelos shouted and grabbed his two companions. "We'll be the greatest team ever! No monster can beat us! We have your axe Presea, Genis magic and my beauty. And my sword!"

"Zelos, we're going to find a vechile." Genis muttered. "Not go on a quest to destroy world evil."

"Don't destroy the mood, midget!" Zelos yelled and smacked Genis head with the back of his hand. "Let's go, companions!"

Zelos, Presea and Genis walked away, leaving Regal and Raine alone.

"Any suggestions of where to look, Regal?" Raine asked.

"Let's go to the noble neighbourhoods. Must be someone there we can ask." Regal said, thougthfully.

"Good idea. Weather's great today, not a cloud on the sky!"

"Well, if you look closely above the church tower, you'll notice a small cloud ju-"

"-Regal!" Raine said loudly. "I didn't mean literally, I was just trying to comment the weather."

"Oh." Regal blushed. "Well, let's get going then, shall we?"

* * *

"This is hopeless" Sheena sighed. "We've asked 100 peo-"

"96" corrected Lloyd, while chewing thoughtfully on a bubblegum. "96 people, not 100."

"Alright, 96 people and..."

"Oh wait, it was 94. Sorry, my mistake."

"94 peopl-"

"Darn, I can't even read my own handwriting. 74... or is it 14? Let's take 25, it's perfectly in the mid-"

"NEVERMIND!" Sheena yelled angrily and stomped her foot in the ground. "We've asked a lot of people, but still no one who has a vechile that we can buy."

"Maybe we can build one?" Colette suggested.

"Sure!" Sheena said and sighed. "Let's ask them for some wood and a box of nails instead! Great idea! Yeah!"

"Okay! Let's go then!"

"I was ironic."

"Oh. Well, we won't find anything if we sit around here." Colette said and got up from the bench she was sitting on.

Suddenly, a large vechile drove in and stopped twenty meters away from them. A man dressed in green clothes jumped out and left.

The vechile was tall, it had four wheels and was painted green. It looked like a bus, but much bigger.

"Now this is convenient." Sheena said and smiled.

Lloyd walked over to it, watching it in awe.

Huge blue letters on the side said "The Wondermobile".

"Wow..." Lloyd said. "This is perfect."

"It's perfect." Sheena repeated. "And ugly as hell."

"It's a vechile alright..."Colette said. "And it seems big enough for all of us and our equipment. "

"We should go get the owner and buy it from him" Lloyd said. "Come on, let's go."

"I doubt we'd afford it." Sheena said and smiled secretly. "Let's steal it!"

"WHAT?" Lloyd snorted. "Stealing is wrong! But so much cheaper! Let's go!"

Colette grabbed the door handle. It was unlocked. The three headed in.

"Wow..." Lloyd said, looking around. "This is perfect. It is like a small house on wheels! Chairs, tables and comfy sofas!"

"And a big space in the far back for storage... Perfect place for all our equipment." Sheena examined the chairs. "Wow, these are nice..."

"Curtains to block the windows if you like..." Colette pulled the curtains. "This is... Uh oh..."

Sheena and Lloyd stared at her.

"What?" They asked simultaneously.

"A man dressed in chef clothes are heading this way."

"What! Sheena, we gotta leave! Let's drive away!"

"But what about the rest? We can't leave Raine and the others."

"Let's hide!" Colette suggested. "We have no time to escape."

"But where?" Sheena said, and looked around panically. "Quick, the closet!"

The three squeezed themselves into the tiny closet and closed the door, and moments after that the door to the vechile was opened, and the chef stepped in. He was short, and incredibly fat. He had an ugly little moustache as well, and he kept singing on some weird melody. He wore a read cap.

"Whew, time to relax before picking the boss up." He sat down on one of the soft chairs and opened a soda.

"This is no good." Lloyd whispered. "We can't get out while he's sitting there."

"We're going to melt.. It's so hot in here!" Colette said loudly.

Lloyd and Sheena raised their fingers in front of their mouths, but too late.

The chef got on his feet. He walked over to the closet, and examined it closely.

He tried to open the door, but Lloyd was holding the handle with all his strength.

"Weird, the door is jammed. Anyone in there?" the chef asked suspiciously.

"Uh, no?" Sheena answered.

"Okay, just checking. " The chef returned to the chair.

"Phew, that was close..." Lloyd said. "Well, I guess we're stuck here until he leaves... Or falls asleep."

"Something tells me that this is going to take a while..." Sheena whispered to herself and sighed. Well, at least she was close to Lloyd.

Everything was perfect at, when she thought about it.

Except for one tiny detail. A blonde-haired angel named Colette.

* * *

_Once upon a time, there was a mighty knight named Lord Zelos. He and his companions Genis the Wizard and Presea the Paladin had set out to vanquish evil from the evil city of Darth Meltokio. _

_Darth Meltokio lay in the center of the world, and it was the home of all evil._

_The three heroes met fierce resistance at the heavily barricated gates, but fought their way through and headed for the heart of the city. The plaza._

_Once there, they encountered the most fiersome beast one could ever imagine. A dragon, tall as a house, spitting fire that was so hot it could burn your clothes without even hitting you, furiously stomping the ground with its large feet._

_Lord Zelos, Genis the Wizard and Presea the Paladin readied their weapons. _

_This evil beast had to be defeated. And they were the ones to do it._

_"Victory Light Spear!" Lord Zelos yelled and performed a swift sword attack. _

_The dragon could not..._

"FIRE BALL!"

Zelos heard it too late. It hit him right in the back, catching his clothes on fire and sending him flying forward. Panically, he tried to roll from side to side to choke the flames, but with no success.

"Stop with your idiotic role-play!" Genis said angrily. "If you run around a little, the flames should go out."

Zelos got up, looked at Genis and screamed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR! I'M BURNING!" He yelled, dancing around like a human torch.

"Maybe you overpowered your Fire Ball a little, Genis" said Presea.

"Ah well, better luck next time."

Zelos ran around in circles on the town square, but didn't look where he was going. He ran straight into a man dressed in green clothes carrying a giant fork.

The impact was so hard it sent the green-clothed man flying into the flower garden a few meters away.

Zelos, a.k.a the Human Torch, transferred some of the flames he was carrying over to the green-clothed one, who caused the flowers to catch fire.

"GENIS! HELP ME!" Zelos groaned. "IT'S HOT!"

"Okay." Genis said and made a swift handgesture. "Spread!"

An enormous pool of water shot out from the ground beneath Zelos, and sent him flying a few meters straight up in the air.

He landed on solid ground, almost knocked unconscious in the process.

"Ouch..." He whined and crawled to his feet. "That hurt, you midget!"

"Well, you're not on fire anymore..." Genis said. "Which is good. Besides, you asked me to help."

"There are other ways!" Zelos growled, rubbing his aching back. "Maybe sending me 10 meters straight up in a spinning thornado of water wasn't the ultimate way of putting out a small fire!"

"YOU!" Someone yelled from behind, interupting their argument. It was the green-clothed guy, carrying his giant fork. "You destroyed my outfit! YOU SHALL DIE! A-..."

The man suddenly noticed Presea.

"Well hello there, gorgeuos" He said in a deep voice and bent over and kissed Preseas tiny hand. "I'm the Wonder Chef, a pleasure to meet you."

"Hey!" Zelos yelled. "That's not how to treat a lady!"

"Like you NEVER do it..." Genis mumbled.

The Wonder Chef got up and directed his giant fork towards Zelos.

"You destroyed my precious outfit, the very one that gave me the title Best Dressed Chef of the Year two years in a row. You will pay for that!"

"Whatcha gonna do?" Zelos asked. "Smack me with that giant spoon of yours?"

"It's a fork, you idiot! Look, it has three... Ah, nevermind. We shall have a duel."

"You will never defeat me!" Zelos yelled and unsheathed his sword. "The fight will be over in a second!"

Raine and Regal just arrived at the site, and stared with surprised faces on the event that was unfolding.

"What is he doing?" Regal asked. "That's the Wonder Chef! He's the best chef in the world!"

"Although the Burned Clothes-fashion hasn't been hip for 200 years, he do seem to know a lot about cooking... But why is he fighting with Zelos?"

"I don't know. We came here at the same time, remember."

"Oh right."

"We shall have a contest!" The Wonder Chef yelled, his eyes catching a dangerous glow.

"A contest in what? Fork-fight?" Zelos was crying of laughter. "A catwalk? The only way you'd end up on it would be to find a dead cat and step on it! Zelos Wilder- The Wonder Chef : 1-0!"

"Very funny, girly guy." The Wonder Chef growled, brushing ashes off his clothes.

"What's this all about?" Raine asked and walked over to them.

The Wonder Chef turned around, and scanned Raine down and up. He liked what he saw..

"Well hello there pretty. I'm sorry, but I've already promised this purple haired beauty to be my wife. Better luck next time!"

"What are you doing?" Raine asked sharply. "You won't take Presea away, I'll make sure of that."

"This girl/man set my precious clothes on fire" The Wonder Chef pointed at Zelos with a hurtful look on his face. "For that, he shall-"

A loud roar was heard. A big vechile with four wheels rolled out on the plaza. A man dressed in a chef's outfit stuck his head out through the open window.

"Hey boss, where shall I put the Wondermobile?"

"...the Wondermobile?" Genis said sceptically. Zelos nodded in agreement.

"Um..."

"WAIT!" Raine yelled. "I'll pay you anything for that vechile! We really need it!"

The Wonder Chef shook his head.

"I'm sorry, but it is my most beloved possession. It is not for sale."

"How about we'll have a cooking contest?" Raine said. "If you win, you can take Presea. If you lose, we'll get your Wondermobile."

"Hmm, fair enough."

"This is great!" Zelos exclaimed. "Regal will cook his butt."

Everyone was terrified by the thought, and the Wonder Chef cleared his throat.

"Erm, what did you say?"

"Regal will cook for us."

"No, no." the Wonder Chef said and pointed his sharp fork at Zelos, who giggled nervously. "YOU are the one who burned my precious clothing. I'll choose the person who'll cook for your group."

"WHAT!" Genis exclaimed. "No! You can't do that!"

"So if we win..."

"Then I will give you my vechile."

"I accept your challenge." Regal stepped forward. "We shall duel, you and me. Pick me."

"Hmm, no." said the Wonder Chef. "I think my opponent will be this silver-haired, gorgeuos half-elf."

"Y-you mean Raine?" Zelos buried his head in his hands, cursing. "Or do you think Genis is pretty? That could be..."

"SHE will be my opponent in this duel of cooking arts."

"It could still be Genis..." Zelos mumbled and whistled innocently.

"You there in the orange suit, white hair and beautiful eyes. You are my opponent."

"Genis, are you wearing orange clothes?" Zelos asked quietly.

"I've chosen her named Raine to be my opponent." The Wonder Chef growled. "Any objectoins?"

Everyone present at the site raised their hands, except from Raine.

"You don't approve? Well, I don't care." the Wonder Chef stomped the ground with the end of his fork. "Elpork!" He yelled to the chef standing by the Wondermobile. "Prepare for us."

"Um, sure thing, boss."

Three more cooks came out of the Wondermobile, which was surprisingly big. They all put up a big table for them to sit by, and arranged two kitchen desks for the contestants.

The Wonder Chef smiled and bowed, putting on a broad smile.

"Here's our arena, precious." He said and smiled, while nodding towards Presea. "Soon, you'll be mine, lovely."

Presea was sweating heavily. She looked nervously at Zelos, who was biting his nails apart. Genis was whacking his head against the wall.

"We're so dead." Zelos said, spitting out a nail. "You should run, Presea. Raine cannot win this. Her cooking could kill a dead man all over again."

"Affirmative. You should do a diversion maneuver while I sneak away." Presea whispered.

"Like what?"

"Eh, I don't know. Set something on fire, or something."

"Ask Genis, he's good at stuff like that."

"He has passed out."

"Oh. Well, it's been nice knowing you, Presea." Zelos looked at Raine who placed herself at her kitchen desk.

"You'll both have one hour to prepare your dishes, and we judges will decide who did best when that time has passed." Elpork announced, his belly bounced in a weird way when he spoke. "You may begin."

"What are you doing, Zelos?" Presea asked, watching Raine nervously as she tried to find a way to start the oven.

"I'm just thinking of how we'll crack this to Lloyd, Colette and Sheena."

He said, and smiled weakly. "Oh no, Presea's not here. She's now a kitchen slave in the doomed halls of the Wonder Chef. But don't worry, she's probably fine. Hey, I have a great idea! Let's invite them over for dinner!"

"It is not over yet." said Presea thoughtfully. "Raine could win."

"Hah, yeah, sure." Zelos said and laughed. "If something extremely heavy would miraculously land on the Wonder Chefs head while they cook."

"That's a good idea."

"So, are you suggesting I'd sneak up on a roof and drop a 10-ton weight on that guys head?" Zelos said, his eyes fixed on the two contestants.

"Well, yeah." Presea exclaimed. "It's my only chance, you know."

"That settles it. I will save you, little hunny. Don't you worry. It's a great plan, though the only minor problem is how I'm supposed to carry a 10-ton weight up on a roof and then drop it."

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

Zelos nodded and took small small steps backwards and eventually turned and ran. He ran straight into something about two meters tall. Two enormous cooks were standing in his way.

They were both carrying a vast set of kitchen knives.

"You can't leave now." The Wonder Chef said, while chopping a cucumber. "You must stay and watch the show."

"W-watch the show?" Zelos mumbled nervously. "Watch Raine burn her food into tiny black pieces of ash and put in the microwave oven? Sure, why not?"

The guards escorted him back to the town square, where more people were gathering, anxious to see what was happening.

"I really like your knives..." Zelos said with a sweet voice. "They look so sharp, and-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Sure, sure..." He giggled. "You are so lost, Presea." He whispered through gritted teeth when he came back to her side.

"I know. Just put on your best smile and convince Raine that she has a chance of winning."

"Zelos?" Raine said while trying to crack a tin of conserved pineapples open with a fork. "Do you think mashed tomatoes and chocolate crisp cookies will be a good combination?"

"Someone kill me now." Zelos said and turned away his head, sighing as he did it. "She can never win. It's impossible."

Regal did his best to help Raine out.

"Yeah, yeah, pour some sugar on it!"

"Like this?"

"No, no, that's flour! Sugar, over there!"

"Ah, this one?"

"Drop the apples, I said sugar! White powder, to your left!"

"Oh, now I get it..."

"No, no, no! That's the salt!"

"Is this the sugar?"

"Yes, yes! That is the sugar!"

"What was I going to do with it again?"

"Pour it in the bowl, yes... NO! NOT ALL OF IT!"

Raine smiled innocently. Ah well, just a minor incident, why were all her friends looking at her like she was some sort of mental case?

She wasn't as bad at cooking as everyone thought. No, no, she would prove them wrong.

All she needed to do was to win, and they would get the Wonder Chef's vechile so that they could travel to their gigs. Couldn't be that hard, now could it?

He was merely the best chef in the world, but he couldn't be THAT good. She also practiced cooking alot. The last time she made food, everyone seemed to like it alot. Though their faces got a weird greenish color, but that was probably due to some strange vegetable or something.

She tasted the messy fluid she had created.

"This is good!" she yelled to Regal. "It tastes like...sugar! All I need is some salt..."

Regal covered his face with his shackled hands. Then he slowly removed them again.

The sun was still shining.

The same annoying bird was still chirping in the distance.

Raine still couldn't tell the difference between sugar and salt.

This was a nightmare. The most evil nightmare he had ever experienced.

And he wasn't even sleeping.

* * *

Please review, and I will give you a cookie!

Chapter 10: Why are Kratos trying to destroy for the band? And why is Yuan forcing Regal to give him inside news? And will Raine have the slightest chance against the mighty Wonder Chef?

Tune in next time to find out! Take care!


	10. Pants Problem and A Daring Escape

Time for chapter 10! A bit shorter than the last one, but fear not, it's good! Thanks to all who reviewed, you are the following:

**Ri2: **The Wonder Chef isn't nice. He's just got...uh...split personalities? Thanks for reviewing.

**Zelda's Fox 38: **Oh yes, the Wondermobile :D I actually had no clue what vechile to give the band, but I figured a music van would really fit. White gogo boots? Thank... -gets robbed by Kratos- Oh well. Anyway, update your fantastic, brilliant, amazing fic soon... I can't wait much longer. Don't make me send some evil person. Like The Wonder Chef. That would be nasty. Very nasty.(If you read closely, you'll noticethe title of your fic twicein this chapter...) Anyway,rock on.

**The Judgmental King Of No Pants: **Your name got even longer! But who cares, not many people I know are kings of no pants. Except for Kratos then. See below. Thanks for reviewing, rock on.

**lugiamania: **Thanks for reviewing. Wanna know how it all turns out, just scroll below!

**SnowCrystal: **Glad you liked it. And I hoped you like my cookies, they are the best. :D

**Tim: **Glad you like my fic. Yeah, it's a bit Ooc, but I wanted to twist their personalities a bit to make it even more fun. Their basic attributes are still left intact :D Cookie for you!

**Yureidoru: **Raine and Kratos? Strange? Okay, I thought it was pretty common... But hang on, the final pairings might look completely different from the current ones, or the hinted ones. :D

**Lord Kratos 05: **The twist you mentioned will come, later. (Damn you for seeing through my evil plans! Hehe, joking!) Some of the bands I was inspired by? Well, the music style the Chosen plays is melodick rock, kind of poppy but with a heavier edge. Sing-along stuff like Magnum (Best band ever) or Status Quo (Although I hate them deeply). Any happy music usually inspires me alot! Thanks for reading, rock on!

**Axgirl12: **I'm thrilled to see that you like my fic. And what happens between Raine and the Wonder Chef will be described below. Keep reading:D

**Eastercat: **Yes, the love triangles will be developed further in future chapters... And things might not end up as they seem... Well, Raine has Kratos now, but will she have him later? Will Regal have any chance on her? It all lies in the future, just stay tuned and you'll find out. Thanks alot.

Thanks alot, yes, for reviewing my story. I love you all, just keep on rocking!I've said it before, I'll say it again: Go check out Zelda's Fox 38's fanfic Abandon Inc, it's brilliant.

Anyway, let's move on with chapter 10!

* * *

**-Random Skit 3: What Summon Spirits Do-**

**In the land of summon spirits...**

**Gnome: So, anyone up for chess?**

**Undine: Chess? That's so lame.**

**Gnome: Not as lame as your outfit.**

**Undine: Says the Summon who speaks like a 5 year old! Not to mention the thing you have on your head.**

**Gnome: Hey!**

**Efreet: LET'S ALL CALM DOWN!**

**Gnome: Gah! Stop yelling, Efreet!**

**Efreet: I AM NOT YELLING!**

**Gnome: Alright, alright.. We must figure up something to do... Sitting here sucks.**

**Volt: ...**

**Luna: Eh, what?**

**Volt: ... ... ... ...**

**Gnome: I get it! What he's trying to say is... Pie is good?**

**Volt: ... ... ... .. .. .. ... ...**

**Efreet: I THINK HE'S SAYING: LET'S START DANCING!**

**Gnome: Yeah, right. Did you say that, Volt?**

**Volt: .. ... ...**

**Luna: It's impossible, I can't understand you... Shadow, translate!**

**Shadow: Wwwwwwwwwwwwhaaaat heee'sssss tryyyyyyyying tooooo...**

**Gnome/Luna: NEVER MIND! **

**Luna: Let's just sit here doing nothing.**

**Volt: ... ...**

**Shadow: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii agreeeeeeeeeee.**

**Efreet: OOOOOOOOOOKAY!**

**Gnome: Sigh. I need a candy bar.**

**Shadow: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?**

**Gnome: Oh man. Make that two. **

**

* * *

**

Kratos sank down on the couch. He sighed and threw a wig across the room. It landed perfectly in a box containing clothes gone out of fashion 1000 years ago.

He bent down and took out a book from the shelf under the table, and leaned back as he read.

"Hmm, it starts in a month..." He mumbled quietly to himself, as he looked around the room. Good thing he'd never sold his Meltokio hideout from back in the days. 1000 years ago, when he still used to party all night long and never felt the motivation to actually fly all the way home, he just used the place to hang out.

Many were the girls he had brought th.. Actually, besides himself only Yuan and Mithos knew about the place, and Mithos was gone. Said he'd leave Earth to search for new lifeforms, and so he did. Kratos sighed. Anna had been gone for a long time, and maybe it was time to search for someone new.

"I need to brush up on my pickup-lines... Hey there, darling! Your clothes would look amazing in a pile next to mine!"

He slapped himself. Twice. What was he thinking? He had Raine! But love from afar isn't always the easiest thing.

After twelve seconds of self-pity, Kratos closed the book and placed it back on the shelf.

The place was dusty, everytime he took a breath he stirred up dozens of small dust particles that swirled around in the room, making his vision somewhat blurry.

"Well, I've been postponing this for too long..." He said and got on his feet. He walked over to the mentioned box and started to dig around in it. Eventually he stopped, when he found what he was looking for.

"Ah, I haven't seen these for a long time!" He pulled out a white skirt with a matching shirt and a small cap with the label 'Abandon Inc'. He put on the skirt over his pants, and placed the little cap on his head.

He looked in the mirror, but saw nothing since it was covered in dust. Using the tip of his finger, he removed a part of it, and nearly got a heart attack when he saw himself. He quickly turned around, placed his back against the mirror and breathed heavily.

"Oh my god. That's just...ugly." He removed the clothes again, and dug out another outfit from the box. Black leather pants, with a matching vest.

Any man with even the slightest amount of self-preservation would never...

"YES!"

Kratos did a dance on the floor, using the leather pants as his lady.

"I can't believe this!" He dug deeper into the box, thrilled like a child on his birthday to find all the outfits he hadn't seen for so long. He took on the pants.

He turned around, and attempted to walk away. But he couldn't. His blackleatherpants was stuck in the wall. They had mysteriously attached themselves to a small hole in the wall, and now he couldn't get loose.

His sword was out of reach. He tried to tear the leg off his pants, but with no luck.

"Shouldn't have stopped working out when the world was saved..." He said and sighed. "When I suddenly couldn't lift the milk-packages anymore, I should have known something was wrong..."

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Kratos' blood froze. Oh no. His pants was stuck in a hole in the wall, and it might be someone really important.

Well, when he thought about it, it had to be Yuan, since only he knew about the place. Unless Mithos had returned from his space journey, but that was highly unlikely. He brought supplies for 250 years and only two had passed.

"Kratos, let me in!" Yuan yelled, pounding the door. "I know you're in there!"

Kratos tried to wriggle himself loose, but with no success. It ended with him grabbing the piece of his pants that was stuck, placing his feet on the wall and pushing backwards while moaning high.

"Kratos, what the hell are you doing? Who's there with you?"

"AAAAAAAH!" Kratos exclaimed loudly, pulling as hard as he could to free himself from the wall. "Aaaaah, I'm coming!"

"What the..." Yuan had heard enough. What on earth was going on in there?

He took a step back and kicked the door open, sending pieces of wood flying everywhere. In the same second, Kratos freed himself. But the wall didn't satisfy with the piece it had already taken, instead it ripped offwhat was left ofhis pants.

Kratos growled. So there he stood, Kratos Aurion, half naked with his back towards the door while moaning happily.

Yuan nearly fainted.

"KRATOS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" He roared and threw a shoe on Kratos auburn-haired head.

Kratos turned around and said: "Oh, hi Yuan. I got..."

"AAAH! YOU HAVE NO PANTS! Don't turn this way, idiot! "

"Oh, I can explain..."

"Where is she!"

"Where is who?"

"The girl!"

"What girl?"

"The girl you were having...You know. Some happy moments with... Some happily doppily funnily..."

"There's no girl in here, I..."

"You cheated on Raine, Kratos! I'll tell her, and she'll spank you!"

"How did you kno- I mean, no she won't! There is no girl, my pants just got..."

"...mysteriously stuck in the wall, and they just FELL APART when you tried to pull them out? HA!" Yuan stomped with his foot, intensly staring on a poster on the wall. "Come up with a better excuse next time!"

"Well, that's actually exactly how it happened..."

"Yeah, right. Whatever.Just get some clothes on, please. You've scarred me for life, Kratos!"

"I'm sorry, but..."

"Don't talk! Aaaaaaah, the visions!" Yuan threm himself behind the couch and started to shake violently.

"Relax, I have pants now." Kratos took of his 'Abandon Inc' cap.

Yuan rose to his feet. "Good, good. Just don't ever do that to me again."

"I won't. Unless my pants do get attached to the wall ag-"

"-Can we talk about something else? Thank you. We need to talk business."

"About our band?"

Yuan placed himself on the edge of the couch.

"Yes. Regal is an idiot. He's the most stupid person I have ever met. You included.He hasn't given any valuable information about Lloyd's band yet."

"All my attempts of stopping them has been fruitless as well." Kratos scratched his head while walking back and forth on the floor.

"They are our rivals, Kratos. We must make sure they don't steal our fans."

"I have a perfect idea. We can sue them." Kratos smirked.

"Sue them? Why?"

"They are using songs I wrote. We could sue them for... Un-allowed Song Usage?"

"It is a marvelous plan! You are a genius, Kratos!" Yuan giggled like a girl while jumping up and down on the couch. "They can never survive a scandal like that. Their career will be ruined! MWAHAHAHA! More money for us!"

Kratos joined in on the sinister laughter. He liked everyone in The Chosen, and he felt quite bad to destroy for Lloyd and Raine, but life's hard. Gah, who was he fooling? He couldn't care less for them if he got more money!

"Why did you send songs to them?" Yuan asked, frowning his forehead.

"Well, I usually mail stuff to myself. Lloyd must've gotten them."

"You mail stuff to yourself?" Yuan laughed. "Why?"

"Opening letters is fun. And you never know what you're going to get."

"Of course you do! You mail stuff to yourself! How can you NOT know what you're going to get?"

"Hmm, I guess I've never thought of that before."

Yuan sweatdropped.

"We must meet with Magnius and Forcystus." He said. "We have a huge tour planned, it will start in a month."

"Great!" Kratos smiled. "Cruxis Camels on tour again!"

Yuan sighed.

"Oh god. What do we have to do with Cruxis? Those days are gone! And camels! CAMELS? Haha, our name must be the worst ever. Who even thought of it?"

"Well, you did."

"Aw. I must have been drunk." Yuan rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you were."

"Did I do my table-dance with the hand gestures and singing while imitating the Golden Banana?"

"Yes. Twice."

"Oh crap. Must've been the days when I lived by my golden rule."

"What was that rule again?"

"Avoid all hangovers- just stay drunk."

"Clever. Really clever"

* * *

"This is good!" Colette exclaimed, giggling as she looked out through the small hole in the closet door. "The guy who was in here has left." 

Sheena who had been on the verge of falling asleep awoke, shook her head and pushed Colette away from the hole.

"Hmm, you're right. We should seize the opportunity."

"Let's go then" Lloyd added and pushed the door open. The girls had been correct, the Wondermobile was empty. "Sheena, you go ahead and start it."

"Sure" Sheena headed to the driver's space. "Oh, guys..."

Lloyd turned his head.

"Yes?"

"You might want to take a look out the window." Sheena disappeared again to try to start the vechile.

Lloyd jumped up on the couch and placed his face against the window.

"What the... I can't see anything."

"Um, Lloyd?" Colette said. "It's because the curtains are down."

"Oh. Eh, I knew that. Pull ém up, please."

"Roger that, I'll..."

"Wait a second... Who the hell is Roger? I'm Lloyd, remember."

"No, I mean roger as in..."

"I don't care about Roger, Colette! Just remove the curtains so that I can see what's going on!"

"Okay, okay." Colette muttered and started to spin the lever on the wall. The curtains went up.

"Oh..." Lloyd said, surprised. "I can't believe this."

"What is it? Let me see!"

"It's Raine."

"What's so weird about that?"

"Well, she's cooking."

"What? Is she going to make someone sick?"

"Most likely. They seem to be having a contest of some sort. Regal and Presea is there too. Zelos is punching Genis. Hard.There are a lot of chefs there... Wait, I know that guy in green..."

"Let me see!" Colette yelled, jumping up and down.

"Go get the other window!" Lloyd snorted.

"But it's facing a whole other direction! I can't see anything from there."

"I'll just describe what's happening! It's the Wonder Chef!"

Colette froze.

"So what you're saying is that..."

"Yes." Lloyd had a troubled look on his face. "Raine is being held hostage by the Wonder Chef, who's forcing her to make bad food to all citizens, all a part of the Chef Council's plan to take over the world!"

"OH NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" cried Colette.

"Can you be quiet?" yelled Sheena irritatingly. "I'm trying to hijack a vechile here! They are having a cooking contest, Raine versus the Wonder Chef."

"A cooking contest!" Lloyd blurted out. "What? Raine can never win that! She's the worst chef in the world."

"Sadly, it's true." Colette mumbled. "I wonder what they are competing for."

"I dunno, but we better get out of here before they notice us in here. Or Raine kills someone. Whichever happens first."

"I think I've started it up!" Sheena shouted, and in the very same moment the engine roared. "Let's get the hell out of here!"

Lloyd jumped down from the couch and ran over to Sheena. She was sitting behind the steering wheel, trying frantically to make the vechile move.

"It has started, but I can't move it!" Sheena yelled panically. "I've... Oh no, they've seen us!"

* * *

At first, the Wonder Chef couldn't believe what he saw. Just when he lifted his head from the fantastic dinner he was preparing, he noticed someone sitting behind the steering wheel of his vechile.

Someone was trying to steal his precious Wondermobile.

"STOP THEM!" He yelled and pointed his gigantic fork towards the vechile. "Don't let them escape!"

As the chefs ran against the Wondermobile to prevent it from leaving, the large door on the side sprung open, and Lloyd leaned out.

"Raine! Regal! Genis! Presea! Zelos! Let's go! HURRY!" He screamed. "Come quickly!"

Raine froze for a second. What was he screaming about? She was just preparing to finish her beautiful dish. This would mean extra homework.

"Not now, Lloyd!" She yelled back. "After the contest!"

"You can't win this contest, Raine!" Zelos yelled as he ran past her. "Come on!"

"I'll stay right here." Raine muttered, and poured some salt on her dish. "Now, what would I need..."

Genis, who had regained consciousness pulled her coat.

"Sis, we gotta leave! We have a vechile now, let's escape!"

"No Genis!" Raine smacked Genis hand. "Once I've won this contest, the vechile is ours to take. We can't just steal it. Stealing is wrong, you know. That was esta-"

"Meh, forget it." Genis dashed for the Wondermobile.

"Raine, run!" Lloyd yelled again. He had drawn his swords. Four angry chefs bolted against him, and just meters ahead of them ran Genis, Presea and Zelos.

"HURRY, DAMMIT!" Lloyd yelled. "Get inside, quick!"

Raine ignored Lloyd's infernal screaming and placed a cucumber on top of the mashed potatoes. Then she poured some additional sugar on it, and finished off with a slice of a tomato.

"There" She said, happily. "All I need now is some..."

"Hi Raine." Someone interrupted.

Raine looked up. It was Regal, standing in front of her.

"Oh, hi Regal."

"I'm sorry, Raine." He said. "I'd rather not to this, so forgive me."

"What do you mean? Sorry for what?"

"This."

BONK!

Everything went black in the blink of an eye.

Regal had smacked her in the back of her head with a frying pan.

She passed out instantly, and he caught her before she hit the ground.

"What have I done?" He mumbled as he ran with her in his arms. "She's going to kill me when she wakes up... Oh dear."

Ignoring the four chefs who were blocking his way to the Wondermobile, he just ran straight through them and knocked them all over like bowling pins.

"Regal, what have you done!" Lloyd asked panically. "You killed Raine!"

"What? Of course not!"

"But, but... She's bleeding!"

Regal looked down, nervously. Oh hell. Lloyd was right. Raine was bleeding from a big wound in the back of her head.

"Maybe I hit her too hard..."

"MAYBE?" Lloyd yelled and punched Regal twice. "You just killed my teacher! You could have just carried her over here!"

"I'm sure she'll be fine when she wakes up."

"IF SHE WAKES UP! DAMN YOU!" Lloyd kicked Regal's side. One, two, three times. "Now get inside! Let's leave before the chefs get back on their feet."

"I'm so going to die..." Regal whispered to himself, sweatdropping. "Mommy..."

Then he headed inside, and Sheena made the engine roar. Then she started to drive backwards to make their way out of Meltokio City.

The Wonder Chef crawled to his feet, seeing in panic how the Wondermobile started to move away from him.

"NO! MY PRECIOUS! STOP!" He yelled, running after it.

"This is no good." Sheena said inside the Wondermobile. "Some weird guy in green is running after us."

"He won't keep up for long." Zelos said, calmly. "He'll never keep up with us down the stairs."

"Good, good. Wait a second... What did you just say?"

"I said that he would never be able to keep up with us down the stai... Oops. This is not good. This is not good."

"STAIRS!" Sheena screamed. "OH NO!"

But it was too late. The vechile tipped over before Sheena reached the brakes. And then the Wondermobile bounced down the stairs, sending all people in it flying around like ragdolls.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" They all yelled simultaneously and then everything came to a screeching halt.

The back of the Wondermobile had crashed straight into the closedcity gate.

"This is not good... This is not good..." Zelos kept repeating to himself, lying on his back under a table that was upside down.

"Damn, the gate was closed!" Sheena sweatdropped. "This is bad!"

"Hey, guys..." Genis said. He was lying on his belly, staring straight out through the window. "That green-clothed guy is still after us. And his buddies are with him as well. They are looking angry. Very angry."

"This is not good... This is not good..." Zelos said again, nervously. "Shall we run?"

* * *

That was chapter 10, hope you liked it! In the next chapter of Rock The World: Kratos, Yuan, Magnius and Forcystus have a meeting when something unexpected happens. And will our heroes be able to escape from the evil Wonder Chef?And will I be able to come up with more crazy questions?

Tune in next time for chapter 11 of Rock The World!

Take care, and rock on!

-DW


	11. Christmas In Flanoir

Obviously, I missed Christmas, but it's still a Christmas special of Rock The World! Hope you like it!

Anyway, since there's no reviewers response in chapters now, I've started a new thing. Two songs to go along with every chapter, which you can listen to while you read. Just click the links next to them. Pretty nice, isn't it?

This time it's the following songs:

Magnum- Rock Heavy (The theme song of the fic!) http/media.

Darkness- Friday Night/ http/media.

future chapters, I'll put songs inside the story where they are meant to be played. Sort of like a soundtrack. Yes, I know, it's clever. :D

Anyway, rock on, here's a new chapter of Rock The World.

* * *

**Random Skit 3: A Priest's Confession **

**Priest: Ah, finally I have reached heaven... Hey, why are you blocking the way, Martel? **

**Martel: You have not done me well. **

**Priest: What are you talking about? **

**Bus driver: Hey hey. Can I go in?**

**Martel: Sure. **

**Priest: This is unfair! Why did he get to go? I've held service in church every sunday for 30 years! **

**Martel: Yes, but when you preach the people are asleep and could not care less. When he drives, everyone prays to the Goddess. **

**Priest: ... Hmpf, how did you die then? **

**Bus driver: I died in my sleep. **

**Priest: Not screaming like your passengers, then? **

**Bus driver: WHY YOU LITTLE... I mean. No. Well, I'm off. bye. **

**Priest: ...**

**  
**

* * *

"Hey, everyone!" Colette said, dreamingly. "Remember last year, when we celebrated Christmas in Flanoir?"

"I made the biggest snowman ever!" Genis exclaimed. "I cheated a little, but still. Then Lloyd ruined it."

"What do you mean? It wasn't me!"

"Ah yes... I remember when Sheena and I..." Zelos said and smiled. Then he suddenly froze. "Gah! We can't talk about old memories! We need to escape!"

Everybody gazed confusedly at him. Zelos nodded to the right.

"THE WONDER CHEF!" Everybody yelled in unison. "We must escape!"

"Regal, take Raine!" Sheena commanded. "Let's go!"

"What?"

"We must get out and open the gate!"

"Why must I take Raine?"

"Guess why, you imbecill! You knocked her out! Grab her, and hurry! You too, Colette!"

"Oh, right." Colette sighed and crawled to her feet. "I love talking about old memories. Maybe later, then..."

---------

Flanoir, one year earlier.

-----------

"C-c-cold!" Zelos shuddered as he rubbed his shoulders, looking out through the window. White snow fell outside, small flakes of snow danced in the whirling wind.

"Maybe because you still haven't taken your pants on?" Genis suggested as he walked by, holding a cup of warm tea in his hands.

Zelos looked down. Oh god. The half-elven midget with the girly hair was right. He had no pants. He dashed back to his room..

As Zelos ran away, Lloyd came down the stairs, dressed in a blue jacket and white gloves.

"I'm ready." He said and cracked his fists.

"Ready for what?" Genis asked as he sat down on the chair next to the fireplace.

"Our contest."

"What contest?" Genis took a zip of his tea.

"The Snowman Contest, come on! You promised!" Lloyd said, jumping up and down.

"Yeah, I know I did..."

"But?"

"It's 7.00 in the morning. Do we have to start now? There's barely any daylight."

"Fine, I'll wait." Lloyd placed himself in the chair next to Genis.

They sat there for a while, soaking up the comfortable heat from the fire.

"Lloyd, don't you find it hot?"

"No, no." Lloyd said, sweating heavily.

"Maybe you should remove your jacket."

"Nah, nah, I'll be fine."

"If you say so."

A while passed.

"Lloyd, you're awfully quiet. Is something wrong?"

"N-no. Of course not. Is it just me, or is it awfully humid in here?"

"Um, I can't feel anything particular. The air's kind of thin, I think."

"Okay."

"Why do you ask?"

"No, nothing, really."

Another ten minutes passed.

Genis finished his tea and got up to fetch some more when he heard a bump. He turned around and saw Lloyd with his head lying in the middle of the fireplace. He had fainted and crashed right into it.

"LLOYD!" Genis yelled and swung his kendama over his head. "Icicle!"

The ice spell extinguished the fire that had started in Lloyds hair alright, but it rendered mr Irving himself frozen solid as a statue. Genis walked over and pulled Lloyd's stiff body out of the fireplace, kicked the fallen chair back up and placed him in it.

Genis yawned and sighed.

"Oh well. Hello, chef! I think we need some more tea over here."

* * *

"This is even more beautiful than Altamira." Regal said, as he he stood on the balcony with a perfect view over all of Flanoir.

"Yes, it's very pretty."

"Oh Raine. I didn't see you coming."

"Oh, I've been guiding Colette and Presea around, showing some nice things to them..."

"Oh, okay."

"You know, somehow I get the feeling people are not paying attention to what I say all the time? Like when I guided them around, I explained to them that there was once an ancient castle lying nearby, founded by Tethe'Alla king... Augustus... Once... When Tieal IV came... and everyone just seem to ignore me... Do you get my point?"

"Um, excuse me?" Regal turned. "What did you say? I was admiring the falling snow."

"Gah! You men are all hopeless!" Raine waved her fist in the air and stormed off. "I guess I'll go talk to a wall! At least it will listen to what I have to say!"

"Aw come on, Raine. I didn't mean... Sigh, there she goes."

Regal took a deep breath and placed his cuffed hands on the fence and leaned forward. There wasn't a chance in the world that a man could make her happy.

To engage a marriage with that half elf, you'd either have to be a deaf professor with an insane passion for homework, or an ancient ruin with legs. He was neither of them. And he wasn't planning on becoming any of them either.

He sighed as small snowflakes hit his skin. He enjoyed the cool feeling they brought and he closed his eyes. Christmas. Christmas in Altamira wasn't a big holiday, since there was no snow to bring that holiday feeling.

When he thought about it, he had only celebrated a "real" christmas once before in his life. It was in Flanoir as well, with a very special girl. That girl was long gone now. He missed her, but lately she had gotten less and less space in his mind. He had finally begun to move on.

"Alicia..."

* * *

"Nhaw dhis is ahwkwhard..." Zelos sluddered. Ever since childhood, he had never been able to resist the urge to lick ice sculptures whenever he saw them. He really tried to resist this time, he really did. But with no success.

So there he stood, bent forward in a very uncomfortable position with his tongue frozen stuck on an ice sculpture of a bigfoot. Things weren't made any better by the fact that his tongue were stuck just above the bigfoots sculptured mouth.

"Hey Lloyd, hurry up!" A voice yelled. "Zelos has tried to make out with bigfoot again!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming, Genis... My limbs are still stiff, I can't move... Oh, nice."

Genis and Lloyd placed themselves a few meters away, watching the scene with joyful looks on their faces.

"You know, if he's stuck there..." Genis said and nodded towards a big pile of snow to his left. "He can't do much if we fill his clothes up with snow. Or throw snowballs on his head."

"True, true." Lloyd said with a sinister smile as he made a snowball from the soft snow that covered the ground. "What if I'd just happen to drop this... In your neck, Zelos."

"Nho! Nho! Nhot dhe nheck!" Zelos pleaded, being unable to talk properly since his tongue were stuck outside his mouth.

"I can't hear him. Genis, can you hear him?"

"Nope. Now it's payback time. All those times when he's lifted me up and treated me like a child... Why don't we ask Sheena to join before we start to make things uncomfortable?"

"You know what they say, Genis. The merrier the more morer!"

"Um, it's 'the more, the merrier'."

"Yeah, just like I said. Come on, she should be around here somewhere. Maybe we could ask her to do one of her ninja tricks on him! That'd be awesome!"

"We're forgetting something..." Genis said, and halted. "Raine. And her staff, of course."

"She has employees?"

"No no, her staff. Her wand, you idiot."

"Uh, right. Good work, Genis. Maybe we can ask some of the locals if they'd like to join as well?"

"Brilliant idea. Let's go."

Zelos sweatdropped. This was not good. Not good at all. Maybe cutting his tongue would be the least painful way to go.

* * *

He hated this time of the year. It brought back such painful memories from his childhood, and since he grew up he'd been trying to avoid the occassion the best he could.

"KRATOS!"

Kratos Aurion's train of thought was interrupted, and he lifted his head just enough to see the blonde-haired angel Colette come walking towards him. She was carrying a large box filled with various christmas items.

"Yes, Chosen?"

"Come inside the inn for a while?"

"Why?"

"Would you rather stand out here in the cold?"

"It's not cold."

"Then why are you keeping your arms crossed?"

"I always keep my arms crossed."

"Then why are you standing shielded by the wall if you're not cold?"

"I felt like it."

"You got icicles in your hair."

Kratos Aurion sighed. Once Colette had made a decision, she'd stubbornly do everything she could to make it happen. He might as well just take a look and get it overwith.

Well, it couldn't be that bad, he thought and headed inside. He was wrong.

"Look! Aren't my decorations just the greatest?" Colette giggled and flew around lighting all the candles in the lobby.

"Oh dear." Kratos muttered and looked around. "This is the worst thing I've ever seen."

The inn's lobby was packed with various Christmas items, christmas candles, christmas curtains, christmas lights, a christmas tree, christmas statues, christmas candy...

"This is exactly why I haven't celebrated Christmas for the last 3600 years." Kratos said to himself. . Colette was singing on a jolly christmas tune while arranging and rearranging a pair of statues until they were perfect.

Kratos turned to the innkeeper and whispered: "Did you approve this?

"Yes. Such a good girl, isn't she?"

"Don't tell me you let her do all the other rooms?"

"Of course I did."

That left only one option. Kratos turned.

"Kratos, where are you going?" Colette asked, stopping in mid-air.

"I'll be sleeping at the doctor's house tonight."

"Why? Hey, wait!"

* * *

"COLD!" Sheena yelled to no one in particular. Although she was wearing a jacket, she was freezing.

"How does cold feel?" Presea asked. She was wearing her usual clothes, showing no signs of being bothered by the cold winds that swept through the streets.

"Well…" Sheena looked for the right words. "Um, I guess…"

Hmm. When she thought about it, she had never explained the word "cold" before.

"Um, well. It's kind of the opposite of hot. Although that won't help you much."

"I guess not. It's good in a way, I don't get to wear the silly jackets everyone else is wearing." Presea smiled. "When does the celebration start?"

"In a few hours. We have some time to kill."

"What do you suggest we do?"

"Let's have Genis arrange us a hockey match!"

"H-hockey? What is that?"

"Well, it's a game. You have a stick, and the goal is to…get the puck in the goal."

"What's a puck?"

"Oh dear. I think I should ask Raine to put together a dictionary for you, Presea."

"What's a dictionary?"

"Well, it's a book where you can look up the meaning of certain words if you don't understand them. Very useful."

"I'd like that. Thanks. Hey, I can see Genis and Lloyd!"

"But what are they doing…" Sheena scratched her chin. "Looks like Zelos' attempt to flirt with the Bigfoot has ended in another pathetic failure. Let's go throw some snowballs on him."

"That's not nice."

"Hmm, no, you're right." Sheena smiled. "But it's fun. Let's go!"

* * *

Zelos Wilder was in pain. Incredible pain. In fact, it was the worst pain of his life. And he had been fighting savage beasts and fearsome monsters all over the world. But the pain he suffered from right now was the worst yet.

It felt like his arm would fall off any second, and his legs didn't seem to obey his brain. Not much on his body did obey his brain anyway, but this… And it was all because of THEM:

Yes, he called them THEM now. Their real names weren't worth to say. It was THEY who caused this. Sure, he could say some nasty things sometimes, but this… This time they crossed the line.

And on Christmas Day! Zelos tried to clench his fist, but all that came was even more pain.

He tried to curse out loud, but his tongue would probably be pronounced dead in the near future. Darn it, he couldn't do a thing.

He suddenly noticed that his legs had stopped moving. He was standing in the middle of the street.

It was time for payback. Sure, it was Christmas but the Christmas spirit hadn't found its way into Zelos' heart.

No. Zelos laughed. On the inside, of course. His face showed no expression. It couldn't.

It was THEY who caused this. Now they would pay. And he knew exactly how to do it.

"Hey, old man…" A little boy suddenly said from behind. "Would you like me to help you across the street?"

Zelos was shocked. Did that little kid just call him an old man? He wasn't even 20!

"Listen, kid." Zelos said, angrily and it took a great effort to spell the words. "I'm no old man. So I'd suggest you'd turn around and run for your life."

"Why?"

"Or else I'll do something unpleasant."

"Like what?"

"Like…Steal your dog."

"I don't have a dog."

"Umm, your cat then."

"Noo, Whiskers!"

Zelos sighed as the boy ran. He didn't like being rude, but the kid brought it upon himself.

Now, if he could just make his way back to the inn, he could put his sinister plan into work.

"Let me help you."

Zelos turned. It was Sheena. She grabbed his arm and started to lead him across the street. She smiled.

"I'm sorry for that, Zelos." She laughed. "But it was fun."

"For you maybe, but not…f-f-for me."

"Don't be so angry, it's Christmas. It's almost time to give out presents. I even bought you something."

"Is it a bomb?"

"Of course not."

"Something toxic?"

"No."

"Explosives?"

"No."

"Is it toxic?"

"No!"

"O-kay. I bought a gift for you aswell."

"Is it a picture of you?"

"Uh...eh...well...um..I..."

"It's the thought that counts." Sheena giggled as they crossed the road. "Now, let's head inside before you get frozen solid."

Sheena grabbed his arm, and Zelos felt a warm feeling spread in his body. All sinister plans and evil thoughts disappeared from his mind in the very same second she touched him, and Zelos closed his eyes.

Maybe there was a chance after all...

"LET'S RIP 'EM UP!"

For a person just entering the room, Lloyd would've looked like a serial killer on a rampage. He was holding both his swords, laughing like a maniac and he had a mad look in his eyes.

"Wait, Lloyd!" Colette yelled. "We can't open any present until Santa comes!"

"Yay, Santa!" Genis jumped up and down. In the excitement, a fireball was launched from his kendama. It flew straight into the Christmas tree, which immidiately was caught on fire. Ten seconds later, all that remained was a pile of smoking ash.

"Yes, it's a tradition to light the Christmas tree... but not like that."

"Sorry, Raine! Where's Santa?"

"He should be here any minute..." Colette said, looking through the schedule she had made up. Not only had she decorated the whole inn, she had also planned the celebration.

"These cookies are good!" Sheena said, stuffing her mouth full of christmas cookies. Zelos jaw was still hurting, so he sat with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"How does this...Santa Claus look?" Presea asked.

"He wears red clothes, a red hat and..." Colette was interrupted.

BAM!

A piece of the roof suddenly crashed to the floor. All eyes in the room turned upwards (Except for Regal's, they were mostly admiring the insides of his eyelids) and they saw a dark figure stand on the roof. Snow whirled inside, and the figure jumped down and landed gracefully on both feet.

It was Santa Claus alright. But not in a traditional outfit. It was different, to say the least. Santa was wearing tight jeans, a long red coat with flashing letters on the back saying "Funky Santa" and he had the largest afro mankind had ever laid its eyes upon. His eyes were covered by enormous sunglasses and he was chewing on a straw. He put a boot on the table, and shoved up the sack with the presents.

"Wazzup people?"

Colette grabbed "Funky Santa" and pulled him next to her.

"Kratos, what are you doing!" She whispered in his ear. "I said: Take a Santa outfit and make a flashy entrance! I did not say: Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you come crashing through the roof like some Godfather of Funk with the ugliest boots in history?"

"I like my boots." Kratos whispered back. "I thought this would..."

"Alright, alright. Just play along now. You've just scarred Genis for life." Colette smiled towards the rest, then added: "Raine will kill you."

"If I'd gotten a Gald for every time I've heard that, I'd be..."

"Just do it!"

"Of course..Um..." Kratos cleared his throat. "Ho-ho-how are you doing people? I've got presents for ya! Ho-ho!"

"Somebody kick Regal." Sheena said. Regal was snoring on the couch. Lloyd stabbed him with a wooden sword, causing him to sit right up.

"Is there a Genis Sage here?" Kratos, alias "Funky Santa" announced in his deepest voice.

"Me! Me!" Genis exclaimed. "I'm Genis!"

Kratos threw the gift in Genis head, causing him to fly across the whole room, crashing straight into the wall. Genis just got up as if nothing happened and started to open his present.

"THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Lloyd announced after recieving a book titled "How To Cheat On A Test- Twelve Simple Steps". "But wait a second... That means I got to read it. NO!"

_And that Christmas Eve continued in positive spirit, made unforgettable by a Funky Santa and the best of friends. Whenever life is tough, just remember that theres nothing the help of a good friend can't cure._

_Merry Christmas!_

_

* * *

_

That was Chapter 11! A Christmas special after Christmas, not bad! Tune in next time for Summer Special! Uh, not really, but if I want to get it done in time, I better start now.

Back to regular storyline next time, will the band be able to escape the manic Wonder Chef?

Sit tight, and rock on! -DW


End file.
